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where you go on first date?

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alphadog

Banned
I'm not sure where to go in the first date with someone you've never met before.

the thing is that i'm not the talkative guy so i'm not into coffee shops and such places where all you have to do is talking.
I already learnd here that all girls want is for you to say the "aha" in the right time so they keep talking on whatever and damm dogs it worked, but on first date its not so comfortable for both sides to talk freely you know.

So where would you go on first date?
 

dknguyen

Well-Known Member
Most Helpful Member
but on first date its not so comfortable for both sides to talk freely you know.
If you're not going to talk why even bother to go on a date? You're the guy. It's your job to make it comfortable to talk whether you like it or not, or no one is going to talk.
 
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alphadog

Banned
You dont go to the movies on first date bro,
you wont feel comfortable to just sit next to someone and avoid him for the whole movie when this someone is your first date.
 

alphadog

Banned
If you're not going to talk why even bother to go on a date?
What do you mean?
I am going to say something but i'm not the type of guy who can carry the whole date on himself conversations wise.

aren't there other places than coffee shops to go to ?
 

blueroomelectronics

Well-Known Member
That's true. You need to brush up or your social skills. A first date after all is where you make your first impression. A coffee shop allows for a quick escape if a date feels there is no point in continuing.
Don't worry most people size up a blind date in the first five seconds after they meet.
 

confounded

New Member
do you know anything about the other person? maybe if you went somewhere you both have an interest in you will have a better chance at making conversation
e.g. you both like classical music so you go to a park where they play classical music. If you both like baseball, take her to a game. If you both got guns, go down the range and shoot something!
 

alphadog

Banned
I wanna have fun in the date, not just get her impressed by me, and fun for me is way far from going to coffee shop with someone you have just met.
 

alphadog

Banned
do you know anything about the other person? maybe if you went somewhere you both have an interest in you will have a better chance at making conversation
e.g. you both like classical music so you go to a park where they play classical music. If you both like baseball, take her to a game. If you both got guns, go down the range and shoot something!
Man thats cool, i guess i'll ask her whats her thing.

Anyway, i'd love hearing some first dates you guys have been through.
 

Hero999

Banned
Do something active.

I recommend bowling, don't worry if you're crap, don't take it too seriously humour yourself. :D

Participating in an activity together is good icebreaker, you can talk but there's not too much pressure.

If the bowling went well then you can go for a drink afterwards, if not then you don't have to see her again.
 

tcmtech

Banned
Most Helpful Member
On most of my first dates I usualy just go down in flames! :D
 

HarveyH42

Banned
First thing, change your name, definitely not an Alpha, not even in your dreams.

Seriously though, you should get some counseling, free at many churches. You need to get over the fear, and get some confidence.

The first date is usually about the woman, so yeah, you need to be prepared to do some talking. Unless she's a hooker, don't figure on doing much else the first few dates. The best you can do is to pick places that will put some limits on it, or provide you with some diversion, so you at least get a break in it.

You really need to sort out what it is you are trying to do. If you are looking for something long term, you need to be open an honest, show her the things you find most interesting. Otherwise you are just wasting time, eventually get blown off anyway, and not in the good way either... Keep it cheap and simple, or what you figure is affordable regularly, otherwise she'll expect you to do the same or better from then on. If she know's you can't afford it, she'll know you are just trying to buy the good stuff, seldom works, and cheaper to just buy protection and a professional.

Dating is about getting to know each other. It's all about communication. Doesn't have to be all talking, but it's a huge part of it. Honesty is best, you don't have to remember what stories you tell her, and less likely your family or friends will let the truth out by accident, nor do you have to worry about being accurate or consistent. The truth doesn't change, and you don't have to think about it.
 

Mikebits

Well-Known Member
Take her to one of those computer cafe's and you can chat with her online :)
 

tcmtech

Banned
Most Helpful Member
Check ou the local tourist attractions or historical stuff in your area. I have found its a great way to get to know someone. It gives you many opportunities to talk about many different subjects like family and local heritage and culture. It also gives each of you a common thing that neither one of you probibly knows much about! You have to talk then!
If it was dull and boring it would not be a tourist site. And if it was not of some historical importance they would not have made much of a fuss over it.
 

Mikebits

Well-Known Member
Check ou the local tourist attractions or historical stuff in your area. I have found its a great way to get to know someone. It gives you many opportunities to talk about many different subjects like family and local heritage and culture. It also gives each of you a common thing that neither one of you probibly knows much about! You have to talk then!
If it was dull and boring it would not be a tourist site. And if it was not of some historical importance they would not have made much of a fuss over it.
That sounds like a good plan.

Seriously Alpha, if you are able to converse via chat, then I would think you will have things to talk about. Chat is just talking without audio :).
Where is your location?
 

HiTech

Well-Known Member
Unless you're "on-call" due to your employer, DON'T take your cell phone along... or at the very least, turn it off during the date so nerd friends aren't calling to discuss electronics.
 

Mikebits

Well-Known Member
And for heavens sake, make sure you groom yourself. Crud in the nails, dirty hair or soiled clothes is a big turn off to women.
 

HiTech

Well-Known Member
... and after all that he'll forget to brush his teeth and freshen his breath... date over!:eek:
 

dknguyen

Well-Known Member
Most Helpful Member
Has anyone ever been talking to a girl over dinner who is say...studying to become something like an artist or musician. And she kind of asks what you do in your spare time and you quickly gloss over something like your current robotics project, and she wants to hear MORE about it? And then gets offended or upset when you try to steer the conversation in another direction because you think she may be getting bored?

I get suspicous that they want something from me when that happens lol.

It helps to have a list of funny/stupid/silly stories that happened with your friends, or your friends told you about happening to someone else (stories you heard from speeches at other people's weddings also work). You just mix them into the conversation and retell them all.
 
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