Welcome to our site!

Electro Tech is an online community (with over 170,000 members) who enjoy talking about and building electronic circuits, projects and gadgets. To participate you need to register. Registration is free. Click here to register now.

  • Welcome to our site! Electro Tech is an online community (with over 170,000 members) who enjoy talking about and building electronic circuits, projects and gadgets. To participate you need to register. Registration is free. Click here to register now.

Noobs guide to being a NOOB!!

Status
Not open for further replies.

ghostman11

Well-Known Member
well now i am 2 and a bit weeks into electronics i thought i would save other noods 2 1/2 weeks of noobness and share some of the most inportant things i have learnt so far ;)
1. you decide to "Take up" electronics (after all is easy isnt it?)
2. get credit card/check book out scour the net (ebay) and buy all the exotic equipment you need (want/can find)...this should realy consist of an oscilloscope (ones with more than 150 buttons are best!),function generator sign wave thingy in the nice shiny box (again the more buttons the better),btw at this point dont bother getting cables for them as your bound to be able to make up calibrated oscilloscope probes within days of "learning electronics"
soldering station station! now be careful when choosing this one, your best off getting one that has a hot air thingy 21 dials takes 300 tips, also get one that is capable of soldering wax and solder but still gets hot enough to weld RSJ's and car panels as well. dont forget DMM!! you must buy one that tests every thing includeing the earths gravatational pull and the suns neutron bursts, while its also nice if it can test light temp sound and sanity at the same time, but most of all make sure it costs over £1000 and has fluke scribled on it somewhere. also look on ebay for a half decent electron microscope (scanning type is best) you will need it for some the very small components you will buy but never use.

3. buy as many books as you kind find on amazon that have the word electronic in the title! tho if your unlucky and can only find 600 of theese then make up the diff with ones that have pic in the title.

4. open first 2 pages of first 2 books and decide your never gonna understand what there on about and pack them up neatly again place them back in there box and store them away for future generations

5. join a forum!!.......IMPORTANT!!! read next bit careful several times......

NEVER EVER use the search button or GOOGLE before asking a NOOB question

i will repeat....... NEVER EVER EVER use GOOGLE or search button on forum before asking a noob question. there is no point doing this as no one before will have ever asked about ohms law and besides you cant exspect google to have the answers to such questions!!

6.. NEVER pay attention to the drivel i spout ;)

good luck fellow noobs and if you want to buy a good unused electron microscope pm me :D
 

schmitt trigger

Well-Known Member
Most Helpful Member
7- Purchase a bunch of electronic components, from resistors to FPGAs, but never care to read their data sheet. If you do -by mistake, of course- read them, please IGNORE the section called "maximum ratings". Watch the magic smoke stored inside every component come out.
 

Number17

New Member
Watch the magic smoke stored inside every component come out.
Last year I was working a holiday job and this one guy told me the same thing.....I believed him.

I felt pretty stupid afterwards.
 

tcmtech

Banned
Most Helpful Member
You forgot the most important parts! :eek::eek:

7. Since you now own all of those books that you have never actually opened and read let alone ever understood or have even vaguely attempted to have ever actually built anything that may have been talked about in them still feel free to dispense your valuable advice as if you have been a 20 year life long electronics engineer. :rolleyes:

8. Should you ever actually cross paths here with an actual life long electronics engineer or just well experienced person who has built every thing in the hundreds of books that they have actually read and understood, just piss them off with your overwhelming knowledge and understandings of all things electrical and electronic until they leave! :rolleyes:

9. If they dont leave but instead continually make you look like an incompetent, ignorant, and uneducated fool then bring up as much non relevant arm chair legal advice, 'what ifs', and implausibly unrealistic scenarios and threats as you can make up to discredit their knowledge and life's work. And do it at all personal expenses to your name and personal reputation. Because after all they where foolish enough to cross your path! :rolleyes:

:D:D:D:D
 

ghostman11

Well-Known Member
it's not that i forgot to put 7- more like YOU forgot i am a noob!! of two weeks standing so i have yet to reach as far as 7!!! :D:D once i do rest assured i will inpart all my valuable knowledge to the other up and coming noobs!! :D:D.
 

ghostman11

Well-Known Member
i have just found ten..NEVER sit on your new fangled soldering iron while it is on and set to weld!!! its taken the skin off!!! :(
 

tcmtech

Banned
Most Helpful Member
Dont forget these as well! :D

10. All attempts at humor by anyone but yourself shall be taken as a serious attack on ones self image, ego, race, religion, beliefs, education and whatever else you just feel offended for or by and so therefore the original offense must continually be retaliated against long after the comment has been forgotten by the person who wrote it.
This typically involves riding that persons butt for any and every plausible slip up in wording or spelling or possible double meaning or hidden meanings you may be able to reach by reading between the lines and using as much imagination as your capable of. Also regular nagging and questioning why they either give out too much or too little information from your perspective must be diligently pursued as well. :rolleyes:

11. All actual experience that others may have had regardless of there life, location, education, and or work experiences that you have not had yourself shall be deemed impossible and therefore called into full question. After all if you haven't done it yourself and or dont understand it its obviously impossible and that person is clearly a liar and fool. :rolleyes:

12. Your word is law. Shall anyone post any relevant information ahead of you in a thread it is null and void and they are clearly just copying you in advance in order to look more knowledgeable. Since they are not you they clearly can not be capable of coming up with or to the same ideas or conclusions that you can and or also will if your just given enough time. :rolleyes:

:D:D:D
 
Last edited:

tcmtech

Banned
Most Helpful Member
Holy Crap TCM... your grammar and spelling have improved! :D

Nah, Perhaps you had a stroke and it only looks that way. :p
Given enough brain damage even a monkey like me pounding on keyboard will start to seem intelligent after while! :D

When did they add the ABC√ button? I like it! :)
It makes my words look smarter. :D

It still seems the same to me.
Except for the parts where my fingers are finally starting to do what my brain says. My typing and spelling are still poor by my reasonings. But it does seem a bit closer now to how I actually think! :)
 

ghostman11

Well-Known Member
another thing us noobs find hard to understand is all the acronyms and abreviations, so i have started to compile a list of some the ones i have come accross and had to google, this should save other noobs (who are not allowed to use google) the trouble of asking what they mean. please feel free to add to the list.


soic small often inconsequential component

smt small metal thing

pcb pretty copper board

pic plastic intelligent circuit

ac advanced current

dc dumb current

ADSL any damn small led

led light enclosed doberry

AF (you will see this alot in circuit diagrams) almost F@*%ed

RF Really F*@&ed

ANSI any non standard implement

BOB Better off bodged

dB deliberately Bend

DMM dont mention maths

DNS does not smoke (most components are designed to smoke those that dont are marked DNS)

Vcc very certainly catastrophic

Vdd very definately dangerous

DVD Definately very dangerous

emf eventualy might fry

FET Fried electrical thing
 
Last edited:

BrownOut

Banned
13. Whenever a forum member proposes to build a project that you've never had the ambition to build yourself, use every means at your disposal to discourage his efforts. First, point out that commercially products are available on e-bay and will easily outperform his home-built one. Never mind that alot of these products are produced in low wage countries and without good QC and very little user support, as long as it's cheap and available that should discourage anyone from building his own. Also pay no attention to the possibility that the project builder might want to learn how a product works by building and testing it. Just keep calling his idea stupid if there is something on the market that vaguely performs a similar function. If the member remains resolute, then point out that his project will never work properly, and there exists no possible redesign that will make it so. Made sure to redicule his first attempt to design that he gives up on the project and any future attempt to build anything. It helps alot here to ridicule his english too if he isn't a native english speaker. Here you will get lost of help from other members who smell blood in the water as soon as they see someone reeling from the criticism of his english skills. Now you have him on the ropes, make sure you point out that any attempt to build a project will most likely result in self-electrocution or a house fire. At this point, if you haven't discouraged him, make sure to point out that there are better performing, less expensive solutions for his project, but of course you are not under any obligation to provide any useful details. Finally, if the member insists on going forward, give him bad reputation, report him for site abuse and start a thread on ****-chat about how stupid the other members are.

PS, I'm printing your acronym list, that's damn funny :)
 
Last edited:

ghostman11

Well-Known Member
i thought i would add a few more abbreviations


IR inept resistor


ISA InSane Amperage


KW keep wet (helps with most circuits)

LAN Love A Nooby :D

LCD Leaves components dead

LF lightly fried

MISFET My Insane Soldering Fu@&ed Every Thing

modem Mucch Obvious Damage Easily Mended

mol small furry tunneling animal :D

MOSFET Most Often Severely Fu@$ed Electrical Thing
 

HiTech

Well-Known Member
Don't forget to instruct the noob to get themself one of these dandy little items for their twiddle sticks!

**broken link removed**
 

tcmtech

Banned
Most Helpful Member
15. Believe that any complex and expensive device or product you find online can be built with under $30 in parts and what resources you have in your garage, kitchen, or bedroom.
Also believe no actual knowledge or skills pertaining to its operation or manufacturing are required. :rolleyes:
 
Last edited:

tcmtech

Banned
Most Helpful Member
16. If the information relating to a devices operation or construction can be found on wikipedia or Utube it therefore is true and you can build one too. :rolleyes:
 
Last edited:

tcmtech

Banned
Most Helpful Member
Lets just say I have had some experience in dealing with those who know that they know everything about everything despite actually having done nothing with anything! :D

Some peoples impossibilities are just my day to day routine. :)
 

BrownOut

Banned
Of course, anyone who actually builds and demonstrates a working product is supposed to be ignored. After all, you ya gonna believe, the noob or your lying eyes?
 
Status
Not open for further replies.

Latest threads

Top