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Discussion in 'Members Lounge' started by HVAC Tech, Jan 6, 2015.

  1. Sinedup

    Sinedup New Member

    Joined:
    Sep 15, 2015
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    Rastas is fired from his job at the restaurant.
    His buddy asks him what happened.
    "Management caught me sticking it into a potato peeler..."
    "Wow - RAD! - is it still OK"?
    "Yeah, no problem there".
    "And the potato peeler.."?
    "She was also fired!"
     
  2. Sinedup

    Sinedup New Member

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    Atom1: "I think I've lost an electron"
    Atom2: "Are you sure"?
    Atom1: "Yes, I'm positive"!
     
    • Funny Funny x 2
    • Like Like x 1
  3. Sinedup

    Sinedup New Member

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    Dave is visiting some friends near Hawkes Bay, New Zealand.
    While driving around, they decide to climb up a nearby hill.
    Unfortunately, his friend gets bitten by a deadly snake.
    The man is lying prone, groaning in pain, sweating and shivering.
    Panicked and worried, Dave immediately dials emergency services.
    "Hello, Emergency Services - how may I help you"?
    "My mate just got bitten by a poisonous viper - please come quickly!"
    "Ok sir, what is your street address"?
    Dave asks one of the friends standing nearby.
    "Hello miss? ... Its on a hill near Blackridge Road".
    "How do you spell that"?
    "Its B-L-A-C-K-R-I-D-G-E".
    "Ok thank you, sir. Where are you"?
    Dave asks the friend.
    The friend replies:
    "Taumatawhakatangihangakoauauotamateaturipukakapikimaungahoronukupokaiwhenuakitanatahu".
    Dave says "Hello miss"?
    "Yes"?
    "I have a white pickup truck - meet us at Clinton!"
    :)
     
  4. dave

    Dave New Member

    Joined:
    Jan 12, 1997
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  5. throbscottle

    throbscottle Well-Known Member

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    Location:
    Nuneaton, Warwickshire, UK

    I had to check... yep, actually a place!
     
  6. ClydeCrashKop

    ClydeCrashKop Well-Known Member

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    Returning home from work, a blonde was shocked to find her house ransacked and burglarized. She telephoned the police at once and reported the crime.

    The police dispatcher broadcast the call on the radio and a K-9 unit, patrolling nearby, was the first to respond.

    As the K-9 officer approached the house with his dog on a leash, the blonde ran out on the porch, shuddered at the sight of the cop and his dog, then sat down on the steps.

    Putting her face in her hands, she moaned, 'I come home to find all my possessions stolen.

    I call the police for help and what do they do?

    They send me a BLIND policeman!'
     
    • Funny Funny x 2
    • Like Like x 1
  7. ClydeCrashKop

    ClydeCrashKop Well-Known Member

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    Boys Girls tell story.jpg
     
    • Funny Funny x 2
    • Like Like x 1
  8. ClydeCrashKop

    ClydeCrashKop Well-Known Member

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    The Manslater Woman Language Translator
     
  9. ClydeCrashKop

    ClydeCrashKop Well-Known Member

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    Tampacks.jpg
     
    • Funny Funny x 3
  10. ClydeCrashKop

    ClydeCrashKop Well-Known Member

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    Alligator shoes
    A young blonde was on vacation in the depths of Louisiana. She wanted a pair of genuine alligator shoes in the worst way, but was very reluctant to pay the high prices the local vendors were asking.
    After becoming very frustrated with the "no haggle" attitude of one of the shopkeepers, the blonde shouted, "Maybe I'll just go out and catch my own alligator so I can get a pair of shoes at a reasonable price!"
    The shopkeeper said, "By all means, be my guest. Maybe you'll luck out and catch yourself a big one!"
    Determined, the blonde turned and headed for the swamps, set on catching herself an alligator. Later in the day, the shopkeeper is driving home, when he spots the young woman standing waist deep in the water, shotgun in hand. Just then, he sees a huge 9 foot alligator swimming quickly toward her.
    She takes aim, kills the creature and with a great deal of effort hauls it on to the swamp bank. Lying nearby were several more of the dead creatures. The shopkeeper watches in amazement.
    Just then the blonde flips the alligator on its back, and frustrated, shouts out, "Dang it, this one isn't wearing any shoes either!"
     
    • Funny Funny x 5
  11. ClydeCrashKop

    ClydeCrashKop Well-Known Member

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    Location:
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    tea bag.jpg
     
    • Funny Funny x 2

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