OK, help, but not design. Start by reading this article:
**broken link removed**
and this one:
https://www.electro-tech-online.com/custompdfs/2012/07/Lab6.pdf
What you basically find is that switches are subject to " contact bounce" and logic circuits are fast, so that one push turns into a random number of pushes.
Take an IC such as this one:
**broken link removed**, combine it with a ULN2003
**broken link removed**, a few relays and a 5V power supply and your there, ALMOST.
I looked at the datasheet again, and the device only outputs pulses, so it becomes messy again.
A flip flop which usually comes in dual varieties would be required to "LATCH" the state. Getting the FF to always power up in the same state requires a power on reset circuit. See:
**broken link removed**
A CD4027 is a DUAL J-K Flip-flop See:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flip-flop_(electronics)
and
http://www.ti.com/product/cd4027b
There are plenty of DC-DC converter kits that will get you to 5V. Your relay coils can run off the 12 V supply. The CD4069 will probably work.
OK, I forgot the colors, but that's easy too. You need inverted outputs as well, so use an inverter. You'll also need a bi-color LED where the anode is common and connected to a resistor, your +12 will do.
An inverted ULN2003 will connect to the amber side and the non-inverted to the red side of the LED.
This would be for GREEN/RED.
Oops, red/amber LED's might be tough to find. Red/green yes. That makes the logic a little wierder because RED stays on all of the time and GREEN needs to be inverted.
So, we need to find an inverter that works. They come in HEX packages. They are ESD sensitive and unused inputs MUST be connected to something.
I went back and re-read your stuff. You do want GREEN/RED although you can pick any combination of colors of RED, GREEN or AMBER. AMBER is red and green together. AMBER (ready) and GREEN (OK or on) might be my choices.
So, it's a messy solution and some resistors. I did leave out some details. This is why this ususlly turns out to be a microcontroller implementation.
This was more of a thinking out loud kind of exercise. When I did something similar in the 80's for a car radio interface circuit, it was a pain.
Debouncing can be done in hardware or software. Both are difficult, because I have done both.
Driving the LED and the Relay is easy and providing the spike suppression for the coil is easy. The diode can be placed at the relay itself. Without it, you will see all sorts of strange behavior when the relay changes state.
Amber, Green and red is pretty easy with a bi-color LED. They are available in common anode and common cathode versions. Both RED and GREEN on make amber. The LEDS need a series resistor which is usually R< (V-1.2-x)/20e-3 so for the ULN2003 you would need R < (12-1.2-0.6)/20e-3. This assumes Vf=1.2, could be higher and the driver dropping 0.6V also.
The ULN2003 chip doesn't require +power, Th COM pin connects all the supression diodes to V+. That's not needed when driving an LED. The ULN2003 driver will be OFF with the input floating or not connected.
Starting from the other end which is a switch, you have to debounce it. Odd things can happen if say, you hold for an hour and let go, so finding a hardware debouncer that always powers up in the same state is a good thing. Power on reset circuits have traditionally been a problem. They make circuits just for that now, primarily for micro controllers.
Everything is turning to be surface mount these days and guess what that one is SMT only. There are adapters available.
Now the trick is finding some way to remember the state. Again, a nice use for battery backed up RAM or FRAM when you want to preserve the state after a power failure.
A 1 bit memory element is basically the Flip Flop. The J-K and the D flip flops are common. The J-K is extremely useful because when J&K are tied together and there is a clock pulse, the output Q and the complemetary output NOT Q toggles. So, this property would remove the requirement for an inverter. FF's like nice clean signal edges. If they aren't fast and clean, they don't work.
They also have level sensitive Set and Reset inputs which is useful so you can create a definite state on power up. Likely tricky.
The debouncer has 6 elements, the inverters 6 (may or may not be needed) and the Flip flops have 2 each. Then there is power on reset etc. and a power supply.
Inputs if not used on these chips have to be connected to + or gnd.
Logic voltages are getting lower and lower. 0.8V is now possible. There may be references to TTL comparable or 5 Volt tolerant A 3.3 V logic device may be able to accept a 5V logic device with the addition of a series resistor. You won't run into that here.
The one SMT part will cause you grief, but once you get one to work, it's easy to build 6. Just not sure your up to it.
This
https://www.electro-tech-online.com/custompdfs/2012/07/MAX6846-MAX6849.pdf might help for a power on reset design.