Need advice.

[forumlicker007]

what dis guy telling is correct. internet lov is absolutly fake.she maybe he. i have experience.meet a real gal, make love and marry get some childs asap(so that yu won't loose her).

 

[alphadog]

Thanks a lot guys.
I very appreciate your help.
Its not some girl i met on dating site, we happenly spoke with each other in some forum and took the converstion to the messenger.

Do you think that maybe the first step i need to make is to ask for her phone number first and speak some time on the phone?
Or is it a bad step?

Beause for real, i'm not sure what i can talk with about on phone.
In messenger its more comfortable, because you say what you have to say when you have something to say.
And i'm not the type that likes to speak on the phone cause i dont always have something to say.

Thanks.

 

[audioguru]

I think you are asking for trouble.
You have no idea if "she" is a big fat ugly old "he".

I met my wife at a friend's cottage. She was the new room-mate of his girlfriend.
We instantly were attracted to each other and I visited her (5 hours drive away) every weekend until she moved in with me.
We have been and still are lovers for 33 years. We have two wonderful kids who are grown up now.

 

[Sceadwian]

Alpha, I can tell you from experience online relationships almost never go anywhere. No matter how much you type to a person and how much you think you may have in common until you meet face to face you really don't know anything about that person.
If you can't even hold a conversation on the phone, the relationship is doomed, because well there isn't one.

 

[HarveyH42]

I never got into chat rooms or Email, seems like a huge waste of time. You have absolutely no way of knowing how 'real' the other is, just what you are told. It didn't have a real feel to it. Events didn't seem consistent with the persona. Online, you can be anyone you want, no one can really tell what hides behind the keyboard. Email/Messenger give you a buffer, you have time to craft the perfect response, much easier to stay in character. Wondering if you are more afraid of being yourself, or the girl...

 

[tcmtech]

Not all online stuff fails. My mom met her last husband online and my dad met his wife online. Both are very happy and have wonderful people to spend their lives with!
A few other people I know have also found that right one online.

I have several online friends from around the world that I chat with almost every day.
One is a law student that just graduated. Another is a certified nurse, One is fittness trainer and the oher works as the head of the interior design department at a big yacht company.

And yes I have confirmed proof of every ones identity. And they have proof of mine. Who knows one of them could be Mrs TCMTech someday!

If you can get the names of there employers its not to hard to see if they really do work there.
Get their home address too. Then google earth them and ask what there local area is like. Get a discription of their home and immediate suroundings. See if what they are telling you about is true. But dont tell them you are checking them out that way yet.

I confirm myself in similar ways once their story checks out.

Scammers are looking for easy targets and will not put the effort into building up a good back story or confirmable location setting!

I had a gal I chatted with a few years ago that said she graduated from my home town! One class year behind me. She was black. We did not have any black girls in that class. My total school population was less than 200 kids. Believe me I would have remembered her!

 

[alphadog]

Alpha, I can tell you from experience online relationships almost never go anywhere. No matter how much you type to a person and how much you think you may have in common until you meet face to face you really don't know anything about that person.
If you can't even hold a conversation on the phone, the relationship is doomed, because well there isn't one.

But its not like in the movies bro, where you meet your second half and then you feel free to do with her everything.
I'm a shy person, dont have much confidence around girls, so even if i meet now my future wife, I wouldnt have nothing to talk to her on phone because thats what i am, it got nothing to do with the other person on the line.

Am i wrong?
If i met the girl i'd be marry to, then i wouldnt feel that way about phone conversation?

 

[alphadog]

Not all online stuff fails. My mom met her last husband online and my dad met his wife online. Both are very happy and have wonderful people to spend their lives with!
A few other people I know have also found that right one online.

I have several online friends from around the world that I chat with almost every day.
One is a law student that just graduated. Another is a certified nurse, One is fittness trainer and the oher works as the head of the interior design department at a big yacht company.

And yes I have confirmed proof of every ones identity. And they have proof of mine. Who knows one of them could be Mrs TCMTech someday!

If you can get the names of there employers its not to hard to see if they really do work there.
Get their home address too. Then google earth them and ask what there local area is like. Get a discription of their home and immediate suroundings. See if what they are telling you about is true. But dont tell them you are checking them out that way yet.

I confirm myself in similar ways once their story checks out.

Scammers are looking for easy targets and will not put the effort into building up a good back story or confirmable location setting!

I had a gal I chatted with a few years ago that said she graduated from my home town! One class year behind me. She was black. We did not have any black girls in that class. My total school population was less than 200 kids. Believe me I would have remembered her!

I'd go for the law student, the other two sound scary.

 

[forumlicker007]

I'm a shy person, dont have much confidence around girls, so even if i meet now my future wife, I wouldnt have nothing to talk to her on phone because thats what i am, it got nothing to do with the other person on the line.

Am i wrong?

Wrong. you have talked this much here even i can't that much.The main thing is to feel free. then the subjects to talk will automatically come. otherwise make an idea about some subjects or matters u want to talk to before making a phone call.but it is important to not be silent when calling a girl.

 

[tcmtech]

Actualy I am leaning towards the architect. She and I have very similar views in life and common interests. We are both outgoing and very independent. She also represents a good ballance to me and I to her.

Someone that is not of a highly independent nature will find living with an independent person very difficult.

Plus if I am going to marry I want to marry up not down. I am mature and secure enough to be able to handle having a wife with a higher paying job and more recognition than me. But thats not for everyone.

How about changing your screen name to "SHY PUP" so far "alfadog" seems like a total misrepresentation of yourself.

 

[alphadog]

Do you talk with your girls on the phone? or just online?

 

[blueroomelectronics]

Relationship advice and forum
Man and Wife

 

[tcmtech]

I have yahoo chat. I have a microphone on my computer. so do they, plus web cams.
I plan to get a webcam one of these days so they can see me in real time too.
Right now I just snap pictures of myself and send them.

All four are real hotties too!

It works for me!

 

[alphadog]

Blues, Say hi to your friends for us.

T, What are you talking about?
Did it go smoothly from the beginning with when you started talking on phone?

 

[tcmtech]

just pointing out that not all online people are fakes or scammers.
The four girls I regularily chat with and do email letters to and from have high speed online access. They all have microphones and web cams. I only have a microphone. We talk in real time with each other from the far side of the planet for free.
Being they have webcam setups I can see them in real time while we are talking. I dont have a web cam yet so I have to take a digital picture of me with my camera and then send it to them.
Rather hard to fake being a hot gal when your live!

Plus No one has to pay long distance charges either!
just some things to think about. Why waste money on the phone when you can talk for free on the internet.

 

[alphadog]

Cool.
Please tell me,
What are you talking about when you talk on phnoe/microphone?

And did it go difficultly in the first microphone conversation you had?

 

[tcmtech]

I started checking out online dating sites in january. I signed up for internationalcupid.com. I definitely recommend the forigen girls! They have far more traditional values and manners!
I had dozens of differernt people I chatted with in the online chat room they have. but out of all of them these 4 came across as the most real and of interest to me.
We did the chat room thing for a few weeks then one mentioned yahoo chat because of the faster response time and unrestricted chat modes.
I signed up and went from there. I told the others about my online chat name and they found me right away. I type chatted with everyone of them for a few days. Just general conversations aboout what we like and are looking for in relationships and told storeies about bad ones we had too.

One mentioned that she had a web cam and audio link. I told her I only had audio.
We talked person to person then. They all have english as a second language so some times I have to explain what a word means now and then but they also teach me words in their languages too. (I never remember any but at least I try)

We talk about our days and what we are planning to do in the future. its fun.
Some times they are at work and on break so I can only type chat with them.
I have found that the easiest way to let someone know how you feel and what you are thinking about them and what you want them to know about talking with you is to write up a good letter.

We type chat almost every day and speak in person once every week or so. But still we all do letters to each other. It really helps to get your thoughts in order. You can write, proof read, rewrite and do that until you have it exactly how you want it to sound.

Being they have a little language barrier it helps them to sound more fluent in their thoughts too.

Letters score big with the ladies! real big!

Just be open and honest about why you have not had a relationship in a while. Tell them your conserns and questions that you have.
Whats the worst that can happen? they say no! better to find that out now than years later in divorce court!

 

[audioguru]

I definitely recommend the foreign girls! They have far more traditional values and manners!

I agree.
My wife is from Spain (wow!) and I am a Canadian.

 

[tcmtech]

That had to be some interesting cultural differences to adjust too! What are the arguments like?

 

[audioguru]

That had to be some interesting cultural differences to adjust too! What are the arguments like?

The cultural differences are wonderful. No adjustments. Few arguments.

I went to Spanish night school. Everybody there were fluent in Spanish except me because they went there to chat in their language.
My mother-in-law does not speeky zee English. We use sign language.