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Need advice.

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alphadog

Banned
I got this weird thing with a girl i speak with in the messenger.
We know each other pretty well, and saw each other's pictures.
We got great connection between us, until yesterday that i told her that she's too good for me and too beutiful for me.
Today she told me she still wants us to keep our contact and i know that she still hopes that one day i'll get some courage and meet with her, but i dont think that it'd happen, I just honestly feels that i'm not good enough for her.
I sent her some pictures of me, ones that were bad and some good ones, and i always feel that in reality i'm much uglier.
She sent me some of hers too and she's ******* hot, i mean really, not just to a geek like me.

So what is the problem?
That everyday since i really started to like her, I give myself a hard time for not gaining some courage and meeting with her, thats why I told her that i cant keep talking with her, this feeling that you want something but cant acheive it is killing me.
And I really feel like I dont have a chance to have her.

What do i do from here?
 

Willbe

New Member
I got this weird thing with a girl i speak with in the messenger.
We know each other pretty well, and saw each other's pictures.
We got great connection between us, until yesterday that i told her that she's too good for me and too beutiful for me.
Today she told me she still wants us to keep our contact and i know that she still hopes that one day i'll get some courage and meet with her, but i dont think that it'd happen, I just honestly feels that i'm not good enough for her.
I sent her some pictures of me, ones that were bad and some good ones, and i always feel that in reality i'm much uglier.
She sent me some of hers too and she's ******* hot, i mean really, not just to a geek like me.

So what is the problem?
That everyday since i really started to like her, I give myself a hard time for not gaining some courage and meeting with her, thats why I told her that i cant keep talking with her, this feeling that you want something but cant acheive it is killing me.
And I really feel like I dont have a chance to have her.

What do i do from here?
Calculate your likely outcomes and your utility function for those outcomes.
Utility - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

If the likelihood of her rejecting you is 40% with a utility to you of -100, and her other choice has a utility to you of +1000, then 0.4 x (-100) is less negative than 0.6 x (+1000) is positive, so go for it.
"Struck by Lightning" by Rosenthal exactly covers this problem.

If she and others go for you, then you may have this problem
Secretary problem - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Once you get to know her, it may help [or not] if she is not listed in DSM-IV.
 
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Mike_2545

Super Moderator
First, change your name. A name like alphadog and you complain when a girl likes you? Strap on a pair and ask her out!
 

alphadog

Banned
First, change your name. A name like alphadog and you complain when a girl likes you? Strap on a pair and ask her out!
Look man, all my life i was playing in the basketball court, university or job, i didnt pay attention to girls, so now (and i'm not a teenager Blues) when i'm 22 I got no experience and no confidence when it comes to girls.

For a guy like me, the best way is to meet someone that you already see in the every day life, because you can do it gradually, and not going from a messenger conversation to face to face.
The problem is that I got no girls where i work, and never been to a club before so i'm not sure how can I see girly faces around here.
 

Mike_2545

Super Moderator
If you ask her out and she says no, then you know where you stand with her, If she says yes, you still know where you stand with her. If you don't ask her out you will regret it for the rest of your life.
 

alphadog

Banned
You're right.
I just feel like if she sees me than she'd be disappointed, maybe i need to send her only baddd pics of me so she think i'm very ugly dude and then i'd really have nothing to lose.
 

Willbe

New Member
Learn to read body language, particularly wimmen's body language.
Body language - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Well-done movies are good for this, especially "What Women Want", with Mel Gibson. Study every frame of this movie.

In the rare case where a woman smiles at you from up close and speaks to you first, you have to make some quick decisions, but watch out for the "rapo" players.
Sexual Games: Rapo. From Games People Play by Dr. Eric Berne
(if she talks dirty soon after meeting you, leave immediately).
 
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confounded

New Member
all the people on deathbeds are bothered about what they didnt do rather than what they did.
Definitly try and meet up with her, at the very least you gain experience.
If your not the greatest looking guy in the world, don't matter as long as you can be good at something else
You need to relax and just concentrate on being friends with this girl, then see what happens later.
If you keep going on about her being too good for you and beating yourself up over you wanting her, your behaviour will force her away
 

killivolt

Well-Known Member
We got great connection between us, until yesterday that i told her that she's too good for me and too beutiful for me.
You seem the opposite of me. I think I must be well (ok then) I'm a (Bow wow) woof.

I wanted girls so much that I enrolled in a cooking class. I got three girls out of that one. Just barely in the 7th grade.

If you have the connection your speaking of then you don't fear her.

Instead I think you fear failure. Rejection is one of the worse things about failure and when you face your fears about it. Then thats when a higher understanding comes.

You have to feel comfortable in any situation. Calm cool and collected if not they smell it and they don't want someone who will just quit and walk or worse marry them and not provide ( They are looking for security) that's what you must represent.

Go do a fire walk.

Go Repelling.

Jump from a plane and as you do it say to yourself this is facing my fears all of them equally.

Take a class in something like ballroom dancing and learn to get close to people they don't break and neither will you.

I remember my first class in kung fu it was difficult to have close contact these people will break you equally you them. You learn to be comfortable inside their bubble and you in theirs.

After three weeks of training I didn't have a bubble. In my martial arts classes I had before that training did not allow that really close in contact stuff.

I just wish I would have learn to dance better.

Looking back I would have.

And yes their are girls at the ballroom lots of them. My nephew met a wonderful girl doing ballroom they make a great couple. The more you do the more you learn.

Build your confidence. Once you have tasted the possibility of failure and death none of your questions will mean anything anymore. You will have passed the point of no return.


[Today she told me she still wants us to keep our contact and i know that she still hopes that one day i'll get some courage and meet with her,
No, matter what happens in this situation learn grow and adapt.

whoooa !!

kv
 

3v0

Coop Build Coordinator
Forum Supporter
Killivolt hit it one the head.

I was never good in the confidence deparment. After I got married the girls seemed to come out of the wookwork. Why, because I was not looking or oozing the fear mentioned earlier.

That explains why girls tend to go for the love em and leave em type. They have no fear.
 
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Willbe

New Member
Shouldn't this thread be classified "secret"? If this information should fall into the wrong hands. . .:eek:
 

HarveyH42

Banned
You like each other, so give it shot. You've got nothing to lose, except maybe your virginity. If works out, great. If not, you learned something you can use next time. Plenty of hot girls out there, a little practice is never a bad thing, better than 'handling' it yourself. Most of the really good looking women are tough to get a long with, and can really try your patience. They know they can get someone else, that's why they like sort of plain geeky guys. You won't likely find someone better anytime soon. You'll worship her and treat her right. You'll likely provide a better, stable income than some pretty boy jock, who gets what he wants, and moves on.

You are sitting pretty good, go for it. Worst that could happen is some very pleasant memories. At 22, wouldn't think you are planning on marriage or family, which might happen, even if you use protection...
 

ScareCrow

New Member
I got this weird thing with a girl i speak with in the messenger.........................
........................................
What do i do from here?
You are asking for dating advice on an electronics forum using the name alphadog. ...............
............................
..........................
I find it absolutely hilarious.
 

HiTech

Well-Known Member
You are asking for dating advice on an electronics forum using the name alphadog. ...............
............................
..........................
I find it absolutely hilarious.
My thoughts exactly! ^^^
Then again, you could go find yourself a two-bit whore and pay her to make you feel like a man of the world, perhaps boosting your confidence while thinning your wallet!;):rolleyes:
 

tcmtech

Banned
Most Helpful Member
Tell her exactly what you are feeling. Women are feelings driven not logic driven!
Explain to her why you feel the way you do. Trust me she will like you more for it!
Women love having a fixer upper in the emotional dept. Your a diamond in the rough to them.
And trust me good women do not care about looks one bit! If she is conserned about looks that much, you dont want her. If your really that ugly she would not be talking to you!
Many of the very atractive girls dont actualy get asked out that much. Guys think they are too far below them so they dont ask. And the ones that do are so full of them selves its sad!
I have a few very atractive girls I am friends with who have horrible dating experiances just because they are too pretty!



Being a bit of a nerd is a wonderful thing once they get to realize what you can offer.
Stable, loveing, thrilled to have them in your life, sad when they are not around, That emotional stuff that drives them.

Just my thoughts.
 

HiTech

Well-Known Member
The solution you seek is real simple: be a man!
That said, I mean to say stand tall with confidence and don't waffle and wuss over issues. A wrong decision may occur but learn from it and move forward no matter what it's about. Show confidence and common sense -- that's important. It's good to be in touch with one's emotions but don't become a soggy puppy dog in the process. The Alpha dog in any pack exudes steadfastness and poise that commands respect from the others. If this isn't your make-up, then you may want to pick an alternative screen name.
 

audioguru

Well-Known Member
Most Helpful Member
You met a girl on the internet?
She sent you a photo of her daughter or grand-daughter or girl next door?
Is she really very fat and ugly?
Is she really a "he"?

Meet a real girl in person.
 
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