Chuck Norris Facts

[Frosty_47]

-The Bermuda Triangle used to be the Bermuda Square, until Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicked one of the corners off

-James Cameron wanted Chuck Norris to play the Terminator. However, upon reflection, he realized that would have turned his movie into a documentary, so he went with Arnold Schwarzenegger

-There are no races, only countries of people Chuck Norris has beaten to different shades of black and blue

-Scientists have estimated that the energy given off during the Big Bang is roughly equal to 1CNRhK (One Chuck Norris Roundhouse Kick)

-When you’re Chuck Norris, anything + anything is equal to 1. One roundhouse kick to the face

-The show Survivor had the original premise of putting people on an island with Chuck Norris. There were no survivors, and nobody is brave enough to go to the island to retrieve the footage

-When the Boogeyman goes to sleep, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris

-There is no chin behind Chuck Norris’ beard. There is only another fist.

-When Chuck Norris does push-ups, he doesn’t push himself up, he pushes the earth down

-There is no such thing as global warming, Chuck Norris was cold, so he turned the sun up

-The 1-billion-Dollar-Bill has Chuck Norris' face on it. thats why everybody is to afraid to use it.

-When Chuck Norris eats ice cream, he doesn't get brain freeze. The ice cream gets Chuck burn

-Chuck Norris can turn this forum into his personal web page

 

[dknguyen]

-When Chuck Norris does push-ups, he doesn’t push himself up, he pushes the earth down

THat is, in fact, semi-true. BUt by no means unique to chuck norris

But ****...chat!

 

[Krumlink]

Yes I agree that this should be in **** chat, but I did come up with this one that I came up with by myself:

Chuck norris can sneeze with his eyes open.

 

[Roff]

-When the Boogeyman goes to sleep, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris

LOL!
I almost fell off my chair!

 

[killivolt]

LOL.........

I think he was the inspiration for ChuckyCheese!

But try to wipe that smile off his face after he kicked

your.....pizza !

 

[Krumlink]

Chuck norris eats transformers in car mode and poops them out in robot mode.

Pwned.

 

[quixotron]

When in Russia, you don't go looking for a party to crash, the party comes looking for you.-Yakov Smirnoff

 

[Frosty_47]

When in Russia, you don't go looking for a party to crash, the party comes looking for you.-Yakov Smirnoff

LMAO! I almost flooded my house with laughter tears. The funny part, is it's true (was true in Soviet Union).

 

[killivolt]

[Joseph Stalin]

"The people who cast the votes don't decide an election", "the people who count the votes do."

Brings new meaning to "party" crashing. Especially when you know "Stalin" eliminated most of the "counter vote" population.

(Meaning those countering his Election)

"Then Smirnoff drank a toast in honor of the dead"

The rest of the population started drinking with him and he sold more Vodka.

 

[HiTech]

In a real-life match, Bruce Lee would flatten Norris as would Jackie Chan or Jet Lee.

 

[Nigel Goodwin]

In a real-life match, Bruce Lee would flatten Norris as would Jackie Chan or Jet Lee.

Considering Bruce Lee has been dead for decades, I suspect Chuck would have no problem kicking his ass!

 

[Bob Scott]

Chuck would have no problem prying the rifle out of Charleton Heston's cold dead hands.

 

[Centretek]

Chuck Norris? Give me a break. He was top in the sixties, These days even a 3rd Dan like me could put him down. Age is a *******.

 

[CynicalMan]

When in Russia, you don't go looking for a party to crash, the party comes looking for you.-Yakov Smirnoff

In Soviet Russia , you don't watch telvision, the television watches you!

 

[vdd]

Chuck Norris? Give me a break. He was top in the sixties, These days even a 3rd Dan like me could put him down. Age is a *******.

You just hope Chuck Norris didn't see this post or you'll be in trouble.
He is old but he still very tough.

 

[Nigel Goodwin]

You just hope Chuck Norris didn't see this post or you'll be in trouble.
He is old but he still very tough.

So are us 3rd Dans!

Just looked him up, I'm also 15 years younger than him and haven't crippled my joints like the old karate guys did - by doing full power kicks and punches in the air.

 

[vdd]

So are us 3rd Dans!

Yeah, but he was 7 times world Karate champion. Lots of combat experiences.

 

[Nigel Goodwin]

Yeah, but he was 7 times world Karate champion. Lots of combat experiences.

Not that I'm criticising Chuck (I've enjoyed many of his films), but I place very little reliability in 'world champion' status. Just like boxing, there isn't one 'world champion', there are loads of them - so as far as I'm concerned it's fairly meaningless.

Anyone can set up a competition, make sure it's open to entrants from anywhere in the world, and call the winner a 'world champion' - despite the fact all contestents might have come from the immediate area.

Bit like The 'World Series' in America? - it's the 'America Series' really - but they claim it's a worldwide competition.

 

[killivolt]

So, how many here have martial arts training (how long are you still doing it ?)

Are there any boxers here ?

 

[quixotron]

Whats a 3rd Dan? I musta missed British Slang 101.