Another divorce

[Boncuk]

I found this two days ago in a magazine.

So be good and share your goods when getting divorced.

Boncuk

 

[tvtech]

LOL. She got half of buggerall

Cheers

 

[cr0sh]

I realize that this photo is a joke (likely from some magazine with a ton of pitiful MRA focus, but I digress), but in the real world, this wouldn't happen (and if either party tried it, it would only make the divorce more painful, not less). Instead, for items which can't be easily or equitably split physically (as alluded to by the photo) - like a house, for instance - the item would be sold for fair market value, and the proceeds then split accordingly to whatever agreement was reached.

What I don't really understand (not having been there, no doubt - and I hope to never find out) is why people tend to be so careful, caring, and rational (to various degrees) about entering into a relationship, but don't follow that same approach when ending one? It likely has to do with control issues by one or both parties in many cases, especially where children are involved, among other possibilities. It seems like people fight and argue in divorces more than they should; after all, if they really didn't care and were getting a divorce because of this non-caring, then why do they apparently care so much as to make each other's lives a living hell while doing it. Completely irrational, IMHO.

Fortunately, there are those who have completely amicable divorces, or at least less raving mad one (only basing this on that staged photo - if this were real, it would only go to show how irrational someone would be to cut their nose off to spite thier face, by cutting a car in half and giving half of it to the other party - making sure that neither party has use of a potentially good vehicle - then displaying the thing as some sort of MRA "trophy")...

/can you tell these kinds of displays of irrational "male pride" irk me?

 

[jpanhalt]

@ cr0sh

Your comments are easily addressed, but before doing so, please provide some background for perspective:

1) Why do marriage counselors and psychiatrists have the highest divorce rates among medical professionals?
2) Why do Catholics, whose religion forbids divorce in most cases, have a high divorce rate, while Jews, for whom divorce is just another day, have very low divorce rates?

In other words, I don't think you understand divorce.

John

 

[squishy36]

In other words, I don't think you understand divorce.

I'd go one step further and say a person who hasn't been through it definitely doesn't understand it. I've never been through one and I don't understand it, but I've talked to my wife for 25 years about her divorce and still see the pain it has caused (and is still causing the kids and grandkids).

 

[Boncuk]

Hi cr0sh,

I've gone through two divorces and the first one was a night mare. I gave my wife more than she could expect since only goods have to be shared which have been purchased during time of marriage. My wife had nothing but her clothes when we got married while I had a complete household.

She couldn't resist taking (stealing) all the accessories of a knitting machine making the machine worthless. To make the machine work again I had to put double the money into spare parts than I had put in buying the complete machine.

If it comes to divorce there shouldn't be a question about guilt. Everbody has his share when it comes to divorce. I have experienced more females with irrational female pride than men.

The second divorce was smooth. We had split households from the beginning. (My wife didn't like the idea to be held responsible in case of my company breakdown.) Despite that I supported my second wife after divorce helping her to establish her own household.

We have a saying in Germany: "Wie man in den Wald ruft, so schallt es zurueck." literally translated: "The way you shout into the forest the way the echo returns."

Looking at the wreck of car I guess it was a case for the garbage disposal anyway.

Last not least, there are lots of cars wrecked to make some action movies.

Boncuk

 

[Reloadron]

Like Boncuk, been there and done that twice. The first we were kids so there were no assets in the marriage to speak of needing divided. She got the child and I paid support. The second marriage had some assets which I gave her and paid support on two more children. Glad all the kids are grown.

This time around I have been married for over 21 years and with Kathleen over 25 years so I figure I finally got it right. I hope so anyway as I am getting too old to argue things and that divorce stuff.

Ron

 

[BrownOut]

Post removed.

 

[cr0sh]

@ cr0sh

Your comments are easily addressed, but before doing so, please provide some background for perspective:

1) Why do marriage counselors and psychiatrists have the highest divorce rates among medical professionals?
2) Why do Catholics, whose religion forbids divorce in most cases, have a high divorce rate, while Jews, for whom divorce is just another day, have very low divorce rates?

In other words, I don't think you understand divorce.

John

Likely because in all instances, they are behaving like the irrational primates they are, rather than applying logic and reason (and perhaps some empathy and compassion), which, as adults, they should be capable of commanding. But like I said - I haven't been there. In all likelyhood, given the level of communication and understanding my wife and I have, I never will be. Then again, we are both highly rational, empathetic, and compassionate individuals (for the most part - nobody's perfect).

 

[cr0sh]

I've gone through two divorces and the first one was a night mare. I gave my wife more than she could expect since only goods have to be shared which have been purchased during time of marriage. My wife had nothing but her clothes when we got married while I had a complete household.

She couldn't resist taking (stealing) all the accessories of a knitting machine making the machine worthless. To make the machine work again I had to put double the money into spare parts than I had put in buying the complete machine.

Depending on the laws where you lived at the time, while what she did might've been seen as vindictive (and depending on where the divorce was in process - perhaps even illegal), if it were a "community property" situation (or other possibilities), just because she had nothing to start with, doesn't mean she shouldn't have anything in the end. Marriage is a shared responsibility.

If it comes to divorce there shouldn't be a question about guilt. Everbody has his share when it comes to divorce. I have experienced more females with irrational female pride than men.

That you speak of women as "females" indicates you still have a ways to go in understanding what it means to be a woman in our unfortunately unequal patriarchal society.

The second divorce was smooth. We had split households from the beginning. (My wife didn't like the idea to be held responsible in case of my company breakdown.) Despite that I supported my second wife after divorce helping her to establish her own household.

Glad to hear you had a better outcome. I've come to the decision, though, that if for some reason my marriage either goes south, or any other reason for dissolution, that "once is enough" - I'd rather continue as a "born-again batchelor"...

We have a saying in Germany: "Wie man in den Wald ruft, so schallt es zurueck." literally translated: "The way you shout into the forest the way the echo returns."

Is that similar to the American saying of "pissing in the wind"?

 

[Boncuk]

Depending on the laws where you lived at the time, while what she did might've been seen as vindictive (and depending on where the divorce was in process - perhaps even illegal), if it were a "community property" situation (or other possibilities), just because she had nothing to start with, doesn't mean she shouldn't have anything in the end. Marriage is a shared responsibility.

Excuse me. What should be illegal about a divorce. True, marriage is a shared responsibility where the wife normally decides about the small things like which car to buy, which furniture be used. The husband might decide about the big things like who should become president.

That you speak of women as "females" indicates you still have a ways to go in understanding what it means to be a woman in our unfortunately unequal patriarchal society.

Thanks to our creator we don't have a matriarchal society.

Glad to hear you had a better outcome. I've come to the decision, though, that if for some reason my marriage either goes south, or any other reason for dissolution, that "once is enough" - I'd rather continue as a "born-again batchelor"...

That's your personal decision. May be you should think about getting married to a Thai woman if your marriage goes down the drain for some reason. Differences between western and eastern women are huge.

Is that similar to the American saying of "pissing in the wind"?

That depends on your position relative to the wind. No problems pissing downwind.

It means: Shouting friendly words into the woods friendly words will echo. Shouting in anger there will be the same.

Boncuk

 

[SPDCHK]

Depending on the laws where you lived at the time, while what she did might've been seen as vindictive (and depending on where the divorce was in process - perhaps even illegal), if it were a "community property" situation (or other possibilities), just because she had nothing to start with, doesn't mean she shouldn't have anything in the end. Marriage is a shared responsibility.

Hi cr0sh. (I think you know about my situation "https://www.electro-tech-online.com/threads/i-survived.103782/").

She never wanted to work, and she never did. My salary was enough to maintain the household and her spending spree. But she got greedy. Suddenly there was not enough money for her to spend. The whole criminal case against her was because she wanted to kill me for the insurance. It would have paid out (in my currency R4,500,000.00). That’s quite a lot of money here. Now that she’s been caught and standing trail for the attempted murder I’m not supporting her any more. To make up for the “loss of income”, she’s now suing me with the divorce case and she wants half of everything.

My divorce case is not the first, nor will it be the last, but I hope to high heaven that justice will prevail. Date for divorce case (15-17 Aug. 2011). I’ll let you know in two weeks time if I managed to retain my household or if I lost it all to some greedy money freak.

To tie up with your comment. Yes, in a "Normal" case that usually does happen, but I'm special, in more ways than one

 

[cr0sh]

Excuse me. What should be illegal about a divorce.

I wasn't meaning that divorce being illegal, but that her "destroying" the value of the knitting machine by removal of parts (whether before or after the divorce) could potentially be considered some kind of legal breach (a civil breach if anything; I doubt something like that would be considered criminal).

 

[cr0sh]

Hi cr0sh. (I think you know about my situation "https://www.electro-tech-online.com/threads/i-survived.103782/").

She never wanted to work, and she never did. My salary was enough to maintain the household and her spending spree. But she got greedy. Suddenly there was not enough money for her to spend. The whole criminal case against her was because she wanted to kill me for the insurance. It would have paid out (in my currency R4,500,000.00). That’s quite a lot of money here. Now that she’s been caught and standing trail for the attempted murder I’m not supporting her any more. To make up for the “loss of income”, she’s now suing me with the divorce case and she wants half of everything.

My divorce case is not the first, nor will it be the last, but I hope to high heaven that justice will prevail. Date for divorce case (15-17 Aug. 2011). I’ll let you know in two weeks time if I managed to retain my household or if I lost it all to some greedy money freak.

To tie up with your comment. Yes, in a "Normal" case that usually does happen, but I'm special, in more ways than one

Believe me, I recognize your situation as being far from "normal"; it is clear that there is some form of sociopathy going on with your ex, and I hope you do prevail. Ultimately, I yearn for a renewal of sanity in our judicial system here in the US, where cases are presented and decided based on a rational, rather than an "emotional" methodology. The biggest problem I see with our system of justice is the amount of wrangling by both sides (plaintiff and defense) to stack juries, to prevent relevant evidence being entered, etc (for instance, I would be willing to bet if your case was being tried here - and I am not saying this isn't possible where you are at, because it may be - your ex's lawyer would do everything they could to make the results of the criminal case and/or other circumstances "irrelevant" to the current trial, when they are ultimately plainly relevant to anyone using an ounce of reason).

I wish you luck and a good outcome...

 

[Boncuk]

I wasn't meaning that divorce being illegal, but that her "destroying" the value of the knitting machine by removal of parts (whether before or after the divorce) could potentially be considered some kind of legal breach (a civil breach if anything; I doubt something like that would be considered criminal).

That was just the beginning. She tried to make me look the worst husband on earth even by calling my wing commander on the telephone accusing me of having beaten her up for no reason. I'm sure I never laid my hands on her beating her at all.

She just didn't understand that her small brains wouldn't stop a pilot from flying. Flying was my job and my life. Since I didn't quit flying it was reason for her to get divorced. (She knew from the beginning what awaits her. I was already pilot when we got acquainted.)

Boncuk

 

[tvtech]

That was just the beginning. She tried to make me look the worst husband on earth even by calling my wing commander on the telephone accusing me of having beaten her up for no reason. I'm sure I never laid my hands on her beating her at all.

She just didn't understand that her small brains wouldn't stop a pilot from flying. Flying was my job and my life. Since I didn't quit flying it was reason for her to get divorced. (She knew from the beginning what awaits her. I was already pilot when we got acquainted.)

Boncuk

She was aware what she was in for bro...not a surprise at all. Flying is a passion for those that can handle an Aircraft. Not an easily acquired skill.

Driving anyone can do. Bad or good driver, you are on Terra firma. Have a prang....so what?
Flying, on the other hand, one mistake and all gone.

Cheers

 

[Boncuk]

Driving anyone can do. Bad or good driver, you are on Terra firma. Have a prang....so what?
Flying, on the other hand, one mistake and all gone.

Cheers

That's another part of my story about flying: Within 23 years of flying I had to bury 41 of my comrad pilots.

There is a saying in the USAF: "There are old pilots and there a bold pilots, but there are no old bold pilots." (It's very true!)

One of my closest friends crashed into the Baltic Sea turning at extreme low level touching the water with one wing at a speed of 360knots (approx 650kmh). An RF4-E (Phantom) consists of 10,000 parts. The recovery crew pulled out 100,000 parts. The biggest part of my friend they found was the left ring finger.

I felt so sad and mad about the accident that my last words at the funeral were: "Here goes another gigantic ass hole."

Greetings

Boncuk