I'm not suprised it doesn't work, I don't understand the left hand one at all?, and the right hand one hasn't got any pull-up to enable it to work.
You only need one resistor for each pin as a pull-up, fed directly from the output of the opto-coupler. When the opto-coupler is on, the pin will be low, when it's off the pin will be high - you write your program accordingly.
Here's a quick circuit, the photo-transistor is the one inside the opto-coupler.