Rats rhymes with cats, and I've gotten myself in trouble before by delivering my opinion on cats, having touched some sensitive souls. So, in the interest of sensitive souls, I might offer some alternative ideas to the destruction of these friendly and playful creatures (rats, not cats):
1. Offer them alternative food. What rat would want to eat items from your garden if you provide them with tasty, healthful meals on a regular basis?
2. Trap the little guys and then train them to do things you need in trade for the above-mentioned food, such as pulling the weeds from your garden, protecting your space from moles and squirrels, cleaning the living room or doing the breakfast dishes.
3. Clean them up a bit (flea collars and a bit of Frontline might be helpful) and introduce them to your kids. They are playful and especially love babies and make excellent, huggable plush companions.
4. Rats love games. Ever watch them in mazes? Make an enlarged version of "Mousetrap" for family entertainment.
5. There is nothing that a boy rat loves better than a girl rat. The more the merrier. Take advantage of the offspring of such unions. Gestation is fast! What better time to train than straight from the womb? Your product could be leased to Warner Bros. for making "Ben III" or any variety of Indiana Jones or Mummy flicks. At the rate rats reproduce, they'd make a great replacment for all those hordes of scarabs used in the Egyptian adventure films.
6. Think "CHINCHILLA". After all, there isn't much difference, is there?
7. Look at all the various outfits that deliver mail-order: flowers, clothing, shoes, vitamins. Get in early on the fad and offer mail-order rats for pets. Hey, if the pet rock did well, think of what a cuddly rat could do!
8. Remember that rodents must continually gnaw to keep their teeth in check. Teeth that grow that fast must be useful somewhere, especially since the traditional ivory market has been made illegal on an international basis.
9. Hey, here's a great twist on an Easter tradition. Bleach out the cute little furry creatures and then dye them in a variety of colors. Don't forget tie-dying -- rats love being massaged!
10. Paint numbers on their sides and place fifteen of them on a traditional pool table and work out the rules for a new game. The techniques in (9) above may be useful for this.
Dean