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Do we nerds/geeks get bullied??

Well did you get bullied??

  • Yes

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  • no

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pike

Member
Hey guys, over the past few weeks I've been noticing the bullying in the playground at school. I myself am lucky to be charismatic all-rounder in the eyes of the majority.
But just recently i heard of this story where bullying pushed this student into suicide (she took her dads revolver, and clipped herself). I mean to suicide you must have been taking some serious BS from these jerks.

Which has now got me thinking, is it just the nerds/geeks that get bullied because they are intellectually advanced in a certain area?? Did you guys get bullied because you were different??

And how did you deal with it??
 

panic mode

Well-Known Member
i heard/read such things too...it's crazy... :(
unfortunatelly kids are pretty much on their own. one can get in
lot's of trouble by bothering an adult, even if it is only verbal...

i am older now but i had no trouble in the school days.
i am fortunate to be big and strong. long after i started dating my wife,
she admited that she used to hide or avoid me because she tought
i was scarry :)

only once they tried to bother me. after i beat the hell out of him and
then his older brother who came to help him, nobody dared to mess
with me or any of my friends, ever...

bullies are not used to pain and embarassement. they trive on fear.
the guy who came after me was wheeping while his mom was
appologizing the attack.
but you don't need to be hercules to stay safe. most of the time it's enough
to stand your ground and they will loose interest and move on looking for weak...
it is always good idea to team with friends, stand for each other, don't be singled out.
and if that doesn't help, i say give them the best (or worst) you got, be vicious.
they'll understand that. don't be afraid to use low blows, dirty tricks, bite,
scratch etc. be live hero instead of dead coward.
half hearted defence will just get you in more trouble and give the bully
more pleasure or reasons to bother you again...
you might get beaten up worse then him but whatever the outcome, make
sure he/they wear the mark too (broken nose, eyebrow, fingers, black eye etc.).
think about it, if they get black eye every time they try to bother someone,
do you really think they will still be doing it?
 

Exo

Active Member
I just think of the other ppl as unknowing ants, ...

*wakes up*
eh ..no, never had a problem with it :lol:
 

zachtheterrible

Active Member
I used to be small and weak when i was in middle school, so i got a fair amount of picking on, not only because of that, but because i was really quiet. in highschool i was still small, but i didnt get picked on, maybe because i wasnt so quiet anymore. I wasnt even interested in electronics in middleschool so i wasnt a geek yet. now i started working out and gained weight, so that problem is solved.

Now i guess you could say that im a geek because i spend my free time in the garage. I have a lot of friends now and they all know about me n electronics and they all think the stuff that i do is pretty cool :lol:
 

Jay.slovak

Active Member
Hi I am back!

Yes, Geeks do get bullied at schools, but I think it's because of lack of inteligence on bulliers side...
 

Glyph

New Member
I was bullied, alot.

I tried dealing with it, not with the results i wanted.

Telling an adult/teacher: didn't work. Teachers yelled at the students, but that only made the students come at me more often. In fact it was so often that the teachers eventually stopped caring to help me. Like i was some kind of hopeless case. Bottom line, the teachers weren't very effective.

Standing up to bullies: Only served to amuse them more. The harder I tried to shake them off, avoid them, or ignore them, the harder they tried to get to me. Sometimes they succeeded, sometimes they didn't, but as the days went by with their relentless attacks made my own mental defenses wear down. Eventually i couldn't resist, i just had to endure the suffering.

Physically fighting back: I would get in trouble with the teachers and I would be suspended for violence. No witnesses would ever come forward to side with me because everyone else was too scared of the bullies, didn't care enough to help me, or were bullies themselves. So one guy (me) against the whole school wasn't going to end well. Never did succeed in using physical violence.

Sometimes i would get beaten just because it was amusing to them. I got scares on my face due to years of abuse.

My parents told me to stand up to them, to hit them back.

A week later i got myself stabbed when i did try to hit back.

The courts were ALOT of fun, their lawyers even went as far as to say that *I* stabbed *myself* in order to blame them. I was some kind loser that was looking for attention by making himself as a victim.

Who knows, maybe that lawyer is absolutely right. By telling you all of this maybe i am looking for reflexive sympathy to make me feel better. Maybe i should keep everything bottled up and never complain.

So i tried that, they still came after me. And i kept everything to myself, i stopped telling the teachers, my parents, anyone that knew me about what was happening.

I did this because at that point i gave up. Life was not getting better, no matter what i tried. And i was so drained of any will power or courage that i stopped caring if i was being kicked in the face. I just wasn't worth even to shout anymore.

I tried to commit suicide twice. Since i'm here telling you about this obviously i failed.

One of these days i firmly intend to succeed. I haven't tried a third time yet because i'm still so terribly drained, i can't even summon enough will power to brush my teeth on a regular basis. Someday i'll get around to that third strike. Hopefully it'll work and i'll be out.


As for WHY i kept getting bullied, i wish i truly knew. Maybe i did or am still doing something so horribly wrong that everyone has to reflexively hate me. When i figure out what that is I'll let you know.
 

Jay.slovak

Active Member
Glyph, I feel sorry for you.
I had bullies in Grammar and High school, but it was not as bad as your case. My bullies though they are "playing" with me, and that I liked it. They were so stupid that they didn't realize when I said "stop it!" I really ment stop it... Luckilly they didn't attack me physically (only couple times, when they were pissed of), but they usually gave me names took my things away. I hated that. Now I finnished High school and I am going to Collage, I hope that I wan't find another "friend" like that there.

PS: Never take them seriously, or they will ruin your life.
 

pike

Member
Glyph: I feel your pain. There was one time when i was little like when I was 9, i was thinking about suicide for a week. Eternal peace seemed so easy yet so hard.

DONT STAND DOWN!! If you stand down you will get walked on, spat on crapped on....

BUT if you fight back, two things can happen they will leave you alone for good, or they'll beat the crap outta you till your dead. I would prefer a 5 minute beating followed by death rather than a 5 year torture followed by psychological/social/mental impairment for life.

DONT STAND DOWN

You can die on your knees or you can die while proud. I prefer to die with my name on the front of the paper than die in silence....

DONT STAND DOWN!!!
 

Glyph

New Member
Ya see, they won't kill me.

They're never going to go as far as to kill me.

They know if they kill me they'll be charged with murder, i don't think even their lawyer (that put me in juvenile for 3 months) will have an easy time getting them out of that one.

They're never going to kill me, and they're never going leave me alone.

As for trying to die with dignity or honor, i don't really care anymore. To me, if i'm dead that's all that matters, what good is it to die fighting if in the end i'm still dead? If i die a beaten loser, or if I die a hero i ain't going to read my obituary or see my name on a plaque. I have no need for dignity anymore.

As for not taking them seriously, or ignoring them. As i said in my last post, it didn't work, only made things worse.

And don't spout religious stuff at me. Most of the religious folk i've talked to say that the "Lord is testing my resolve and I must suffer for his glory to receive my rewards in heaven.".... Might be true, but it's not very comforting right now.


The only option I haven't tried yet is to kill them. But i'm not that kind of person. It might make me feel better, but i ain't going to take someone's life, no matter how evil they are. Heck i'd probably spare Adolf Hitler if the choice was given to me.


I put up my original post not to seek advice or sympathy. But to relate an experience that's happening all the time in the world and to ask people to intervene where they see someone is being bullied and starting to go to hell like i am. I think i'm beyond most people's help at this point but there are plenty of victims out there that have not reached my state.

I implore those who can do something to do something.

I've been on suicide row for several years now, its going to take a rather large miracle to take me off. So don't expend any energy trying to help me. Spend it on those little kids you see around that need support and guidance. THAT is where you can truly make a difference.
 

Nigel Goodwin

Super Moderator
Most Helpful Member
Glyph said:
I implore those who can do something to do something.

The only person who can do that is YOU!.

As suggested your best bet is to stand up to them, you might get a good beating (but you probably would anyway!) - but bullies are usually cowards, and if you get a few blows in they will move on to easier victims. If you can produce a kind of 'kamikaze' madness, they will soon leave you alone!.

You don't have your location filled in?, which is very relevent, certainly in the UK bullying is taken VERY seriously - and the school 'should' be able to get it sorted out.

I'm some what surprised you are still at the same school?, I would have thought being stabbed would be a good reason for a move?. Again, in the UK, your parents could refuse to allow you to attend a school where you are being bullied, and the LEA would have to find you a place at an alternative school.
 

jrz126

Active Member
I didnt have a problem in gradeschool seeing as how I went to a private school and there were only 30 kids total in my grade.

Highschool was alittle different. I just kept quiet most of the time. It worked pretty well too.
 

Glyph

New Member
Nigel Goodwin said:
As suggested your best bet is to stand up to them, you might get a good beating (but you probably would anyway!) - but bullies are usually cowards, and if you get a few blows in they will move on to easier victims. If you can produce a kind of 'kamikaze' madness, they will soon leave you alone!

I don't think you're completely listening. I DID stand up to them, and got stabbed for doing so.

The only option now in the "standing up to them" category is to escalate it even further by trying to murder them. Then they'll stop, or at the very least, i'll die trying.

I suppose I got nothing left to lose, I was going to kill myself anyway. Maybe i should use my hate for something productive like taking them out.

I'll probably be portrayed as an evil killer on the news. "Yet another school shooting by a bad kid". But if i have to stand up to them, this is what its going to come to.

Any suggestions for an effective weapon? I want to stay away from guns for now.
 

drrogla

Member
If youre looking for weapons, I would sugest something like Sam sugested taking up martial arts, even if only the basics. Maybe gaining some muscle isnt a bad idea either (worked for me!) I wouldnt sudgest a lethal weapon.
Second reason for not using lethal weapons(aside from the obvious) is, if it doesnt scare them off they will probably start using them also...


Thank god I never had serious problems with that. I`m a bit on the heavy side, so kids at school stopped as soon as I showed them I mean buisness...
 

roboticmisinfo

New Member
You say they would never go as far as killing you.... I don't see stabbing as a mild form of bullying - they could have killed you...... If you want my honest opinion (I know it sounds harsh but...) I don't think you would really take your own life - two attempts suggests to me that your heart is not in it. If you had really wanted to go you would have done something that was a dead cert, like jumping off a cliff, or something. Bullies are scum - they take delight in other peoples pain which is very sick. Some of them may not - they may be dragged into it by friends, but at the end of the day, you should also take a look at yourself. I used to get bullied a lot at school, but then I realised that the root cause of the bullying was my own paranoia and lack of self confidence. What everyone else took as a joke, I would take to heart... and people latched on to that! Sometimes to survive you must put on a front... I know it sounds bad but thats how it is. Here's what I did:

Stopped answering questions in class unless I was asked (e.g. I didn't put my hand up) - bullies hate people who show intelligence, and willing to learn.
You can still carry on learning and also develop your knowledge more than required outside of school, but nobody has to know...
People say don't be a sheep - but I decided to follow other peoples dress code etc... It really helped more than anything.
I decided to be more clean & healthy & worked out.

If you're not tough enough to stand up to them, (I know this is really hard when you hate them) be nice to them..
The main one... outside of lessons - avoid them at all costs - hang around areas where there are people you like. If you are not there to bully, they will move on to someone else.

Don't kill anyone. You do not want to spend the following 10 - 20 years in jail. I'm sure everyone on this forum would agree that if you could come back in 6 months time & say that you've managed to sort things out, we would respect you much more than if you killed a lot of people or killed yourself. It might be easy for me to say but you can sort things out. Can you change school or move house?
Sorry to preach - I could go on all day but I'm sure I'm going to have a lot of people disagreeing with me here, and a lot of conflicting replies.... here goes!
 

Roboticinfo

New Member
In school I was the bully and look at me now
although I due tend to snap in school when they push my buttons.

Although I took martial arts and was into board breaking,
so I never got beaten up but I have snaped which you could see that I do in these forums.
 

gastonanthony

New Member
bottom line: if you are weak, get into martial arts and bodybuilding.
Why?:
Martial arts:It builds confidence and self-control, after taking up martial arts, and you know that you could break bricks with a single punch, you will begin to pity the bullies and will think twice before busting their brains out.
bodybuilding:I often get into fights that I didn't started, it's because they think I'm weak, because I'm smaller than they are, but when I got really big, hoping to kick their ass the next year, I became surprised when all of these bullies avoided to have an eye contact with me, and avoided to bump into me, hahahahaha :lol:
 

roboticmisinfo

New Member
Right....... everyone seems to think they are martial arts experts now... I think some of this is wishful thinking. A forum full of electronics geeks who are complete hard nuts..... especially you Anthony (Roboticinfo) I can see this is your, erm.... shall we say "creative" side showing through again.............

:)

P.S. How do you break those boards? With a sledge hammer? :lol:
 

Nigel Goodwin

Super Moderator
Most Helpful Member
roboticmisinfo said:
Right....... everyone seems to think they are martial arts experts now... I think some of this is wishful thinking.

Not for all of us 8)

P.S. How do you break those boards? With a sledge hammer? :lol:

To quote Bruce Lee, from Enter The Dragon, "boards don't hit back", and the boards I've seen are specially designed to break easily, with the grain of the wood across the board, rather than down it.

Sensei Goodwin, 3rd Dan, Senior Instructor, New Spirit School Of Ju Jitsu.
 

roboticmisinfo

New Member
OK I believe you! You don't have to show off! HAAAAA YA!
I actually did it when I was little (when I wasn't a geek). I got up to yellow belt :lol:
Anyway I haven't done a great deal of physical exercise for a while. I haven't been to the gym for a year, but I would still knock your block off Nige....! :lol:

Love and hugs,

Roboticmisinfo

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
 
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