I wouldnt do the "missed call" to control appliances, what if someone cold-calls you, or you mum phones etc etc...
It would be better to have SMS control - you can hook up from the mobile to a control system (pic or otherwise), this takes the useful stuff from the message, checks that the
phone number that sent the SMS is a valid person and then does something.
There are a lot of webpages dedicated to SMS messages and PC's so it wouldnt take too much work to move this to a homebuilt project - unless of course you have a pc you can leave running to do all the control.
-Jim