Yip, HiTech, at his best in comic mode.
How did you come up with that!
Serious tips for serious folks:
There are several ways to identify the lemon from a dependable used car, and you have to get your hands dirty to check them.
1. Take off the radiator cap, and inspect the fluid. Actually stick your finger into the coolant. It is a uniform clarity or color? There should be no sign of rust or oil. Smell it. It should have a slightly sweet smell, if they use proper coolant in Malaysia.
2. Pull out the oil dipstick. It should be a nice tan or brown color, but that's no guarantee, since the oil might recently have been changed. Again, run the dipstick between your thumb and forefinger, then smell, feel and visually inspect the oil there. There should never be a gritty feel, or any acidic odors.
3. If the car has automatic transmission, pull out the dipstick, and repeat the steps for oil. The color should be bright red or pink, but recently changed transmission fluid will be that. Odor is the key to good or bad transmissions. A smell of burnt cork should make you run, not walk, to the nearest exit.
4. Lastly, start up the engine in neutral. Listen for any unusual noises coming from the engine. Make sure the oil pressure gauge is in proper range, or that there is no engine warning light on. After letting the engine warm up a few minutes, mash the accelerator pedal down about one-fourth way, and leave it there for about 30 seconds. Look toward the back of the car for any blue smoke coming from the exaust. Check again when you release the gas pedal. If the owner/dealer comes running with his arms waving, follow the exit strategy found in step 3, because you're about to blow up an already stricken engine.
If all seems okay, repeat steps 1, 2 and 3.
Couple these precautions with other good ones above, and you might wind up with a servicable automobile.
Good luck.