The Dumbest Engineer I ever met!

[GonzoEngineer]

We have all met one.......the person who defies all sanity and makes you wonder how in the hell they ever graduated.

I was working at a company once and the boss was an Engineering professor at the University of New Mexico. He decided to hire one of his former students, a gorqeous blonde who he was also dating! She had a BSEE, and he said she was one of his best students.

The first job I gave her was a stack of six PC Motherboards and a desktop computer. Her job was to swap each motherboard into the computer and verify that it booted up OK.

She came to me after an hour and told me that none of the motherboards worked, and that she thinks there is something wrong with the power supply.

So we go over to her bench and she says "Here watch this!" She has a voltmeter connected to one of the drive cables and is showing me that the power supply comes on momentarily, then immediately shuts down.

She has the motherboard laying on top of the metal power supply!

Needless to say, she blew up all six motherboards. I guess we all know how she earned her degree!

 

[3v0]

The motherboard thing was not too swift.

I want to mention that one has to take care in juding.

There are so many diverse specialites today that it is too easy to judge based on what we know. What do they know counts too.

Some people are good with numbers and not much else. That is a talent we should all have but it makes them look bad in pratical matters.

3v0

 

[ericgibbs]

I had one graduate who was using a 'megger' to check the gate input resistance of FET's, this is not a joke.

 

[GonzoEngineer]

The motherboard thing was not too swift.

I want to mention that one has to take care in juding.

There are so many diverse specialites today that it is too easy to judge based on what we know. What do they know counts too.

Some people are good with numbers and not much else. That is a talent we should all have but it makes them look bad in pratical matters.

3v0

Believe me.......I only judge those who need judging!

(Ans she also didn't know the difference between micro, pico and nano!

 

[hotwaterwizard]

Just a Note:
When checking 480VAC 3 phase Voltage with your meter,
Make sure it is not on AMPS.
It blows the meter right out of your hand.
Then you suddenly have to go to the restroom.

 

[bill_gj]

A contibution from a mechanical (automotive) engineer that joined this forum in order to learn more ---- I once had a mechanical MSc join my team that didn't know that water circulated in the cylinder block of an engine in order to keep it cool, and that this water also went to the cab heater!!

I was astounded, but the kinder of my colleagues suggested that I was being a bit harsh.......

He climbed the ladder, and, until recently, this chap was a 'manager' in a supplier of automotive electronics. 'Nuff said?

He left because he thought he ought to be paid more and challenged the company in question with 'do more for me, or I'll leave'.

Fortunately, someone higher up in that Company had realised their error in promoting this twerp in the first place. Don't know what he's doing now.

 

[GonzoEngineer]

A contibution from a mechanical (automotive) engineer that joined this forum in order to learn more ---- I once had a mechanical MSc join my team that didn't know that water circulated in the cylinder block of an engine in order to keep it cool, and that this water also went to the cab heater!!

I was astounded, but the kinder of my colleagues suggested that I was being a bit harsh.......

He climbed the ladder, and, until recently, this chap was a 'manager' in a supplier of automotive electronics. 'Nuff said?

He left because he thought he ought to be paid more and challenged the company in question with 'do more for me, or I'll leave'.

Fortunately, someone higher up in that Company had realised their error in promoting this twerp in the first place. Don't know what he's doing now.

What goes around come around!

 

[jpanhalt]

Jim Croce wrote a song about it: Working at the Car Wash Blues

Jim Croce’s Music Videos – Listen free and discover music at Last.fm

John

 

[mramos1]

He climbed the ladder, and, until recently, this chap was a 'manager' in a supplier of automotive electronics. 'Nuff said?

He left because he thought he ought to be paid more and challenged the company in question with 'do more for me, or I'll leave'.

Fortunately, someone higher up in that Company had realised their error in promoting this twerp in the first place. Don't know what he's doing now.

Think they called that the Peter principal. So he is probably a VP at Ford motor co. now.

I had a software engineer that worked for me, many years ago. Answered all my questions right in the interview, his Dad worked at a place that was major in those days.

I asked over and over how his project was coming. He always said great. A month later at lunch, I asked a general question about the uP he was using and it was "deer in the headlights". I immediately asked to see what he had done, he said he was still reading the ASM manual.

Took 6 months (3 write ups and a lot of time in HR learning the process) to get him out of there and get another guy. And we, rest of the team, had to bust tail to finish his project while he kept reading and getting paid.

 

[Leftyretro]

Had a Chemical engineer in a plant area that thought he could design and specify instrumentation upgrades for part of the plant. This older plant section used pure pneumatic instrumentation and he allowed the instrumentation salesman to talk him into buying the latest 'smart' microprocessor equipped electronic field transmitters. Of course these require field wiring for the 24vdc loop powered signals and the existing pneumatic loops use instrument tubing carrying 3-15psi air pressure.

When I transferred into this area and was reviewing his work order I asked about this mismatch and if he intended to run field wiring to all the sensor locations. He answered that there must be some kind of I to P or P to I converters we can use instead

Lefty

 

[GonzoEngineer]

Had a Chemical engineer in a plant area that thought he could design and specify instrumentation upgrades for part of the plant. This older plant section used pure pneumatic instrumentation and he allowed the instrumentation salesman to talk him into buying the latest 'smart' microprocessor equipped electronic field transmitters. Of course these require field wiring for the 24vdc loop powered signals and the existing pneumatic loops use instrument tubing carrying 3-15psi air pressure.

When I transferred into this area and was reviewing his work order I asked about this mismatch and if he intended to run field wiring to all the sensor locations. He answered that there must be some kind of I to P or P to I converters we can use instead

Lefty

Oh.....thats dumb.......thats really dumb!

 

[picbits]

My boss was wiring up a 440v 3 phase machine and using a spanner to do the bolts up in the wiring box on the wall.

Turned out the spanner was exactly the right size to bridge two phases and he hadn't turned off the power before commencing work either .....

He was the same boss who lost 3 fingers in a machine a year or so before .....

 

[Leftyretro]

My boss was wiring up a 440v 3 phase machine and using a spanner to do the bolts up in the wiring box on the wall.

Turned out the spanner was exactly the right size to bridge two phases and he hadn't turned off the power before commencing work either .....

He was the same boss who lost 3 fingers in a machine a year or so before .....

Lefty's rule is bosses and engineers should not be allowed to handle tools under penalty of death.

 

[GonzoEngineer]

These posts are great!

 

[bill_gj]

mramos1 -- you should set up as a psychic. It was the component division of the Fraud Munter Co where I first met this character, and it was V#steon that decided that his talents were no longer cost effective.

 

[mramos1]

mramos1 -- you should set up as a psychic. It was the component division of the Fraud Munter Co where I first met this character, and it was V#steon that decided that his talents were no longer cost effective.

Too bad the principle never got to me. I could use that kind of money.

Guys Dad worked for HP. Figure safe to say this many years later.

picbits, I am still laughing at your post. I would not hang out with that guy, you could get killed being near him.

 

[3v0]

Not exactly a stupid engineer story but you may find it interesting.

A friend ran a small construction company. One saturday I was helping him work on his new barn. A few minutes after we arrived he crawled out to the roof edge to nail on an extension. He was sitting on an open rafter with his feet locked together to keep from falling. With the nail gun in one hand and the board in another he pulled the trigger. It was a wobbly setup, the gun started bouncing and fired three nails, one went through his thumb.

The guy always was alway hammering his fingers or cutting himself. A few years ago he gave up construction and went back to being a meat cutter.

3v0

 

[mramos1]

g and fired three nails, one went through his thumb.

The guy always was always hammering his fingers or cutting himself. A few years ago he gave up construction and went back to being a meat cutter.

3v0

A meat cutting machine? Don't they cut through tons of meat and some bone. But they are a clean cut I bet, so it will take a second or two longer to hurt. And if a low tech meat cutter, the guy has a knife in his hand now.

 

[3v0]

A meat cutting machine? Don't they cut through tons of meat and some bone. But they are a clean cut I bet, so it will take a second or two longer to hurt. And if a low tech meat cutter, the guy has a knife in his hand now.

It always amazed me that he still had all his fingers. Perhaps he has more respect for meat cutting equipment then woodworking tools.

 

[mramos1]

It always amazed me that he still had all his fingers. Perhaps he has more respect for meat cutting equipment then woodworking tools.

Wood working/shop tools can hurt you pretty bad.

Today I used the circular saw and sawz-all (wood/steel demolition of a trailer for a friend) and yesterday a plasma cutter and TIG welder (steel rack for my son golf cart). I did manage to get a couple little cuts.

Electronics are a lot safer.

But I respect grinders, circular saws, things that spin fast and things with high current/heat too.

Thank God the blades are so close on the meat cutters. Worst case he looses 1/64" of a finger.