Commercial vehicles with a fancy start button cut out the starter as soon as the engine fires, I'd assumed it was done on starter current, but I spose the starter current is directly related to engine speed, and its engine speed we go off when we turn the key on our cars every day.
I'll try that, maybe look for a 10% change in speed over a short time, the ecu doesnt have a pulse o/p I'll use an indirect pickup from the coil ht lead.
And good advice on oil pressure, I can just use the engines existing switch, it does actually have an oil level sensor, I can read this before the engine starts.
I dont really want to go to the expense of a battery isolator relay, those things are huge, however I can put 2 relays in line with the starter solenoid and just use one to operate the starter, and use the other if the starter relay doesnt disengage (welded contacts).
I've had a starter relay seize on before, not very nice.