so basically you say that relay contact resistance is far lower than wht they often tell you ? I was hoping to use a relay as it is very robust but I also want a solution that makes as little heat as possible, I expect experimentation is the only way of find out a few facts, although won't the contact resistance increase with age ?
As I've said all along, relays are the way to go - they have loads of advantages (the most important been reliability) and very few disadvanatges. You're really over-thinking the entire thing.