Joke

[ericgibbs]

hi,
This joke was PM'd to me by one of our 'gal' members.


" An English teacher was explaining to his students the concept of gender association in the English language.
One of the students raised their hand and asked - "What gender is a computer"?

The teacher wasn't certain which it was, so he divided the class into two groups, males in one, females in the other, and asked them to decide if a computer should be masculine or feminine. Both groups were asked to give four reasons for their recommendation. The group of women concluded that computers should be referred to in the masculine gender because:

1. In order to get their attention, you have to turn them on.
2. They have a lot of data but are still clueless.
3. They are supposed to help you solve your problems, but half the time they ARE the problem.
4. As soon as you commit to one, you realize that, if you had waited a little longer, you could have had a better model.

The men, on the other hand, decided that computers should definitely be referred to in the feminine gender because:
1. No one but their creator understands their internal logic.
2. The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else.
3. Even your smallest mistakes are stored in long-term memory for later retrieval.
4. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories for it. "

 

[Pommie]

Very good. The amazing thing is that it is also true.

Mike.

 

[amando96]

haha awsome!

 

[samina]

good joke eric.

 

[ozirock]

Ha great joke, keep them coming

 

[killivolt]

I thought I would compare the HAL 9000 to this

hi,

1. In order to get their attention, you have to turn them on.

HAL was always ON

2. They have a lot of data but are still clueless.

Actually he had a little to much data that conflicted with his sense of right and wrong.

3. They are supposed to help you solve your problems, but half the time they ARE the problem.

In this case in order to perform his intended function. Everyone needed to be eliminated.

4. As soon as you commit to one, you realize that, if you had waited a little longer, you could have had a better model.

Actually I think that seems ok here you just have to be careful what you tell him to do. You may not get what you want.

Oh, wait that would be Microsoft.

2001 Space Odyssey

 

[Sceadwian]

Hal also ended up ascending to a near godlike state in 2010. (Least I think that was the book)

 

[killivolt]

Hal was not a computer. Hal was an artificial intelligence. Not even close in comparison.

HAL 9000 is a fictional computer in Arthur C. Clarke's Space Odyssey saga

Edit: HAL (Heuristically programmed ALgorithmic Computer) is an artificial intelligence, the sentient on-board computer of the spaceship

 

[killivolt]

Hal also ended up ascending to a near godlike state in 2010. (Least I think that was the book)

In some ways I think Inspiring The Matrix maybe.

I'm not familiar with when that was written.

Edit: First written and released 1999 / 2001 Space Odyssey was 1968.

 

[Sceadwian]

killiovolt.
Yes the Hal 9000 was as you describe, the personality that became Hal, the character in the book became independent of it's construction and became a unique consciousness through it's experiences and the events that befell it. Clark's book was very subtle about the psychological aspects, but it was if you ask me the single most important part of the way the books evolved. I've only read two of them though, I guess from what I've read on people that liked Arthur C Clarke's works that after for 2061 and the other books written afterward there was a heavy departure from the original content.

2001 was written in 1968, 2010 in 82. 2061 was written in 87 and no movie was ever made. I'd never heard of it till I looked it up just now to find the dates but apparently there was a book 3001 written in 1997?

IMHO 2001 is a truly epic piece of science fiction, one of the best I've ever read, 2010 had a couple bad moments and was more story oriented by still a fine follow up. The rest I haven't read yet so..

Anyways, this is the last post on the matter you'll get from me as we've hijacked a joke thread <smirk>

 

[killivolt]

That's Ok if need be I can just Delete the content.

Eliminate it <smirk><smirk>

 

[tcmtech]

I am not to worried about computers developing consciousness and taking over the world.

Given that the programmers who write the coding that it would work on tend to have little true practical application skills relating to much of reality plus their nature to be a bit less social, the first sentient computer system will likely have severe OCD and will not want to interact with anyone in reality any way.

Taking over the world and trying to deal with all of its odd illogical quirks that are not part of reality simulator software will not be its first interests.

However online gaming probably will!

Then internet help forums will be next.

 

[Tipsy]

I was told "HAL" was simply created by moving IBM back one letter in the alphabet

 

[Reloadron]

Thank you Eric for sharing that. Pretty good stuff and enjoyed by myself and the wife who had me copy and paste it to an email to her.

Now on a depressing note... I remember seeing 2001 A Space Odyssey when it was first released. Saw it several times in fact on the big screen.

Ron

 

[killivolt]

They actually have one.


HAL-15

 

[ianjose]

That's nice and now :

Enjoy some funny quotes about Girls ...

Hard Disk Girls:
She remembers everything, FOREVER.
RAM Girls:
She forgets about you, the moment you turn her off.
Windows Girls:
Everyone knows that she can't do a thing right, but no one can live without her.
Screensaver Girls:
She is good for nothing but at least she is fun!
Internet Girls:
Difficult to access.
Server Girls:
Always busy when you need her.
Multimedia Girls:
She makes horrible things look beautiful.
CD-ROM Girls:
She is always faster and faster.
Email Girls:
Every ten things she says, eight are nonsense.
Virus Girls:
Also known as "WIFE"; when you are not expecting her, she comes, installs herself and uses all your resources. If you try to uninstall her you will lose something, if you don't try to uninstall her you will lose everything.

 

[tcmtech]

Here is a few more.

CRT monitor girls:
Large and bulky but serve their purpose. Inefficient and no one wants your old one.

LCD monitor girls:
Small, compact, and nice to look at. Efficient and known to cause envy issues with others.

Projector monitor girls:
Everyone sees everything that they do even when you dont want them too.

Dial up modem girls:
They are slow, and make annoying sounds every time you communicate with one.

DSL modem girls:
They communicate so fast that they are five steps ahead of you before you realize you did something wrong.

Network router girls:
They communicate quickly with everyone but you. You are always denied access for unknown reasons.

Laptop Girls:
They run all day doing nothing of importance but as soon as you really need them their battery goes dead.

USB port girls:
Theres a 50/50 chance you will connect on the first try but experience shows 95% of the time you get it wrong on the first attempt.

Wireless mouse girls:
They tend to drift off in random directions without reason or explanation.

UPS girls:
Always connected and you assume that they will be there to back you up but when you do need them they fall short and leave you dead anyway.

 

[killivolt]

tcm

I don't know how you kept all of these clean? But that's ok I finished them the way I wanted too!

 

[bryan1]

Just one more to add to the rest

You can turn a computer on by just pressing a button.... Try that with a gal.........

 

[Sceadwian]

PC's have to go through long and complicated POST routines, check the hard drive for a boot sector, ready hardware devices... Some PCs boot fast, some don't.
Tell a gal she don't boot fast enough, and you'll be trying new bruise cream out 10 minutes later =)