You have almost shut the doors for any dialog by many restrictions. How ever, you can use any N MOSFET like IRF540
I use DL4YHF version of JDM, in addition to few others and a Pickit2 that purchased from Microchip.. DL4YHF PIC programmer works with external power supply. It has built in Vpp before Vdd. Really helpful. You may perhaps study that in order to get an Idea as to how to manage yours . The link and specific schematic are here
PIC Programmer for Windows - Help Index
look for A programmer for FLASH- and EPROM-based PICs
All the best