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First night with a girl tech ;)

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transistor495

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See the relativity theory applied.............

SCENE: First night of the marriage.
The Groom approaches the Bride and proposes to
Kiss her. So
Let us see what would be her reaction...


GIRL FROM DEPT OF PHYSICS:

> Well kissing is relative. You can kiss me with
Respect to me
Or with respect to you. First define how you
Are going to
Kiss.You can kiss me by treating me in the
Same reference frame as
You are or treating me in a different inertial
Frame by producing
Waves of motion through your lips. How do you
Prefer?

The guy faints

GIRL FROM DEPT OF MATHEMATICS:

> Kissing is fine. You can kiss me provided you
Satisfy the
Following conditions :
> Necessary conditions: You should be close to
Me by a distance
Delta where delta is greater than zerO and the
Limit for delta
Tends to zero and you satisfy the closure
Property.
> Sufficient conditions: You should have lips.
Where the number
Of lips is neither more than two nor less than
Two. You can
Also kiss by defining your hand to be me if
And only if you satisfy
The above conditions.

The guy goes mad.

GIRL FROM Computer Science:

You want to kiss me. That is fine I assume
> that you know the
Algorithm for that very well. But you have to
Complete the
Process within 56.22 seconds or else
Connection will be timed
Out. To optimize the timing lets do parallel
Processing. As we have to
Discuss about our future and other things, let
Us do the process of
Discussion foreground and why can't you put
The process of Kissing
Background?

The guy applies for divorce.


GIRL from Electronics Engineering:

> So you would like to kiss me. The process of
Kissing is an age
Old communication process. The information
Content of the
Signal transmitted from one pair of lips to
The other is more if the
Probability of the event (of kissing) is less.
> Hence take
Care. If you want a successful communication
Between us,
You should kiss me less often. If the
Information content is to be
Infinite, you should never kiss me at all!

The guy is found hanging from fan next day.
 
Don't you have a snake to charm instead?
 
Here is the abbreviated formula:

find her - f... her - forget her.
 
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Tough crowd....
 
Yes indeed! If one can survive amongst some of us, they should survive well out in the tough world. :D
 
Your "joke" may be funny in a Bollywood movie, but it does not travel well, to us Anglo-Saxon types it is just not funny!

JimB
 
Your "joke" may be funny in a Bollywood movie, but it does not travel well, to us Anglo-Saxon types it is just not funny!

JimB
What? Heh, heh.... that comment made by somone from "Peterhead", Scotland... where men often dress as shown below!! :eek: Despite how much he tries to look butch, he's toting a "man purse" to compliment those Romanesque sandals.
Now that "does not travel well, to us Anglo-Saxon types" !

Oh, and please leave the big wooden sticks for us hillbillies.

**broken link removed**
 
You maybe have a good point there HiTech, however I should point out that that form of dress is only worn for Haggis hunting.

During the Haggis open season, groups of Loons (young men) will dress up in such garb to impress the Quines (young ladies), and proceed to the areas where Haggis are to be found, which is usually near the tops of hills.

The hunting technique which works the best is for the squad of loons to split into two groups, on sighting a Haggis one group will chase the Haggis while the other group runs in the opposite direction.
The reason for this is that the Haggis has two legs on one side shorter than the two legs on the other side, and so is well adapted to running around the tops of hills. If the group in direct persuit of the Haggis do not catch it first, the group running in the opposite direction will meet it head on.
The group which catches up with the Haggis will then beat it to death with the big wooden sticks.

Note that most Haggis have the shorter legs on the right hand side and so will run in a clockwise direction around the hill. There is a rarer form of the Haggis which has the shorter legs on its left hand side and so will run in a clockwise direction around the hill.
It has been known on rare occasions for the two groups of loons to end up each chasing a Haggis in opposite directions. If the two Haggis run into each other in the thick heather and stun each other, this is cause for much celebration and merryment in the evening.
I believe that such an event lead to the baccanalia related in the song "The Ball of Kirriemuir"

JimB


ps, I am not Scottish!
 
During the Haggis open season, groups of Loons (young men) will dress up in such garb to impress the Quines (young ladies) .......

Jim B, you're killin' me over here with laughter! Loons? It just gets better! :D
At this point all I can say is we live in a peculiar society filled with many strange customs. Over here in the States when hunting, we wear reinforced, thick pants capable of standing up to briars, thorns, and craggy rocks. Also, American ladies here, would run away from a Loon wearing a pleated skirt. However, a Loon would be greeted with open arms in the cities of Philadelphia or San Francisco in the tutti-fruity community! ;)
 
Over here in the States when hunting, we wear reinforced, thick pants capable of standing up to briars, thorns, and craggy rocks.

What a lot of softies!

Think hard and rough, a bit like Willie (?) the school caretaker (janitor) in the Simpsons.

JimB
 
What a lot of softies!
No, the softies are in Philidelphia and SanFrancisco like I said before. They are the ones pushing to pass legislation for same-sex marriage. The rest of us are busy plowing fields, fixing tractors, hunting, camping, fixing things, or drinking beer.
 
Also, American ladies here, would run away from a Loon wearing a pleated skirt. However, a Loon would be greeted with open arms in the cities of Philadelphia or San Francisco in the tutti-fruity community! ;)
Now nobody should complain that this thread is lacking humour...:p
 
First night of marrage,

The engineer is still trying to analyze it.

The programmers keeps approaching it with peeks and pokes.

The technician tore it up the first night and has been trying to fix it ever since.

A bit dated perhaps, but I thought it was funny.
 
You guys should be like koala's they just 'eat roots shoots then leaves'........
 
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