i don't know what oscillator speed setting you simulator is in. Assuming it is 4 mhz, the real thing your running is 5 times faster since you are using a 20mhz.
You can swap the 20mhz crystal for a 4mhz one.
EDIT: I dont know why you added the resistor in parallel with the crystal.
It's not in parallel, it's in series (as he clearly stated).
It's an optional resistor for use in HS mode with certain types of crystals, it limits the current to prevent the crystal been overdriven.
Personally I've never used one, and never had a problem, but the MicroChip datasheets explain what it's for, and that it might be required under certain circumstances.
You connect ground of the scope to ground of the circuit, the probe goes to either OSC1 or OSC2 and should be set to x10 - a x1 will probably stop the oscillator.
If you don't get any joy with the scope probe on the osc pins, write some code to toggle a spare i/o leg, you can then get the frequency from this (don't forget to divide by 4 for the internal divider and then divide some more to into account your toggling code) :wink:
Another idea is to bring up the "StopWatch" under "Debugger/StopWatch" (in mplab 6.x) this will show you what your project "thinks" it has connected to it.....