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Funny chuck norris jokes

Discussion in 'Members Lounge' started by zachtheterrible, Feb 8, 2006.

  1. zachtheterrible

    zachtheterrible Active Member

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  2. theinfamousbob

    theinfamousbob Member

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    lol-

    ...I guess I'm dead. :lol:

    Good site, I've had the Mr. T ones bookmarked for a while...
     
  3. mechie

    mechie New Member

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    Who ?

    Is this funny (joke ha-ha type of stuff) or satirical or what ?
    I don't get it at all :?
     
  4. dave

    Dave New Member

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  5. zachtheterrible

    zachtheterrible Active Member

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    It's purely sarcastic! :lol:
     
  6. DigiTan

    DigiTan New Member

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    He's definately one guy you don't wanna mess with. Once I typed "badass" in Word thesaurus. It played a video of Missing in Action. 8)

    Favorites:
     
  7. MrMikey83

    MrMikey83 New Member

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    Ultimate Showdown
    Chuck doesn't win but he's in it so...
    I've listened to this song so much I've memorized the entire thing. lol
    ~Mike
     
  8. theinfamousbob

    theinfamousbob Member

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    Makes me laugh....we had a Chuck Norris week for our video morning announcements....very interesting.

    -Infamous
     
  9. Maverick8675309

    Maverick8675309 New Member

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    heres one
    Chuck norris is such a hard ass that he puts rocks on his slip and slide

    chuck norris sleeps with a night light not because hes afraid of the dark its because the darks afraid of him

    chuck norris is so fast that he ran around the world and punched chuck norris in the head.
     
  10. CraziiGDfool

    CraziiGDfool New Member

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    Chuck Norris Jokes

    Chuck Norris walked the street with a massive erection...there were NO survivers !

    Theres a fight between batman and superman....who wins ? ........CHUCK NORRIS !
     
  11. mike7714

    mike7714 New Member

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    chuck norris uses a rattle snake as a condom
     
  12. nash0065

    nash0065 New Member

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    Crop circles are just Chuck Norris's way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie the **** down.
     
  13. BigRed23

    BigRed23 New Member

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    Chuck Norris

    This is the funnest thing I have ever heard of!!! These are a HUGE hit at my school. We have a new one everyday on the morning annoucments!! LOL


    Saddam Hussein was toppled from power after inviting Chuck Norris to move to Iraq, proving that Saddam was trying to acquire weapons of mass destruction.

    LOL This is my favorite! ~Kirsten
     
  14. DigiTan

    DigiTan New Member

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    Chuck Norris shot JR.
     
  15. justDIY

    justDIY Active Member

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    did anyone notice the views counter for this thread?! I wonder if that number is right - its frickin insane :)
     

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  16. Jay.slovak

    Jay.slovak Active Member

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    What the heck... This has to be Fake somehow.
     
  17. DigiTan

    DigiTan New Member

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    When you get 43,000 posts your profile is upgraded to Chuck Norris.
     
  18. zachtheterrible

    zachtheterrible Active Member

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  19. mvagusta

    mvagusta New Member

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    That's what happens when you promote Chuck Norris on the internet.

    The hottest girl currently online in the world messages you.
     
  20. Willbe

    Willbe New Member

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    Twenty years ago, walking back from a Karate Tournament in Madison Square Garden where I competed, and which featured early photos (complete with bruises) of Chuck Norris in the program, my wife and I were followed by what was obviously a mugger. He was waiting for us to turn off of the main street, I think it was 34th St.

    Did I kick him in the throat? In the groin? Did I stab him through the left eye with the long screwdriver I kept up my sleeve for that very eventuality (after all, this is NYC)?

    No.

    I used deception.

    The last book I read on this subject told me that muggers are not looking for a fight, they are looking for a sure thing. I guess he decided we were not any more "a sure thing".

    Pretty good jokes, though!
     
    Last edited: Dec 4, 2008
  21. Nigel Goodwin

    Nigel Goodwin Super Moderator Most Helpful Member

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    First rule of self defence - don't be there!.
     

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