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Funny chuck norris jokes

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zachtheterrible

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**broken link removed**

Some pretty funny stuff someone told me about. Let me warn you though, there's some nasty jokes.
 
Who ?

Is this funny (joke ha-ha type of stuff) or satirical or what ?
I don't get it at all :?
 
He's definately one guy you don't wanna mess with. Once I typed "badass" in Word thesaurus. It played a video of Missing in Action. 8)

Favorites:
Blitzkrieg is the German word for Chuck Norris.
Bullets dodge Chuck Norris.
For Chuck Norris, Bloodstain Remover is tax deductable.
When the Incredible Hulk gets angry he transforms into Chuck Norris.
 
**broken link removed**
Chuck doesn't win but he's in it so...
I've listened to this song so much I've memorized the entire thing. lol
~Mike
 
MrMikey83 said:
**broken link removed**
Chuck doesn't win but he's in it so...
I've listened to this song so much I've memorized the entire thing. lol
~Mike

Makes me laugh....we had a Chuck Norris week for our video morning announcements....very interesting.

-Infamous
 
heres one
Chuck norris is such a hard ass that he puts rocks on his slip and slide

chuck norris sleeps with a night light not because hes afraid of the dark its because the darks afraid of him

chuck norris is so fast that he ran around the world and punched chuck norris in the head.
 
Chuck Norris Jokes

Chuck Norris walked the street with a massive erection...there were NO survivers !

Theres a fight between batman and superman....who wins ? ........CHUCK NORRIS !
 
Chuck Norris

This is the funnest thing I have ever heard of!!! These are a HUGE hit at my school. We have a new one everyday on the morning annoucments!! LOL


Saddam Hussein was toppled from power after inviting Chuck Norris to move to Iraq, proving that Saddam was trying to acquire weapons of mass destruction.

LOL This is my favorite! ~Kirsten
 
did anyone notice the views counter for this thread?! I wonder if that number is right - its frickin insane :)
 

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When you get 43,000 posts your profile is upgraded to Chuck Norris.
 
That's what happens when you promote Chuck Norris on the internet.

The hottest girl currently online in the world messages you.
 
Twenty years ago, walking back from a Karate Tournament in Madison Square Garden where I competed, and which featured early photos (complete with bruises) of Chuck Norris in the program, my wife and I were followed by what was obviously a mugger. He was waiting for us to turn off of the main street, I think it was 34th St.

Did I kick him in the throat? In the groin? Did I stab him through the left eye with the long screwdriver I kept up my sleeve for that very eventuality (after all, this is NYC)?

No.

I used deception.

The last book I read on this subject told me that muggers are not looking for a fight, they are looking for a sure thing. I guess he decided we were not any more "a sure thing".

Pretty good jokes, though!
 
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Twenty years ago, walking back from a Karate Tournament in Madison Square Garden where I competed, and which featured early photos (complete with bruises) of Chuck Norris in the program, my wife and I were followed by what was obviously a mugger. He was waiting for us to turn off of the main street, I think it was 34th St.

Did I kick him in the throat? In the groin? Did I stab him through the left eye with the long screwdriver I kept up my sleeve for that very eventuality (after all, this is NYC)?

No.

I used deception.

First rule of self defence - don't be there!.
 
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