That relay is not suitable. It can't handle mains voltage. This one would be much better;
http://www.maplin.co.uk/Module.aspx?...elay&doy=17m11
I realise that it says 6v, but I have just 'clicked' a 12v relay with 4 AA batteries.
On your second point. If the relay is a DPDT ( Double pole double throw ) type, then you can switch both live and neutral. If it's a SPST ( Single pole single throw ) then you can only switch the live. However, that's what most 'mains' switches on appliances do.
On the subject of diode. I'd use an 1N4001. All it's doing is stopping the back EMF ( Elecromotive force ) that occurs when the relay de-energises from possibly damaging the transistor. As an experiment, when you get the relay, try it on 4 AA batteries and look at the sparks you get when you disconnect it.
I'm not sure what you mean by 'Which line would you break to control the switching? +12 or -12? or both?'

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