That was my intention in the first place... a dud cap.

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I found this link after reading your forum post.. I had a similar idea to help a friend keep her perverted brother from going through her stuff in her bedroom lol
Here's the link: Build a World's Smallest Electronic Shocker!

 

The simplest shocker is an audio output transformer and a 1.5 volt battery.

For a very short time, connect the battery to the low impedance winding. When the connection opens a high voltage will exist on the high impedance winding. It will be low in current but give an unpleasant shock.

The transformer should be the smallest vacuum tube output type (to speaker) you can find. In fact, any high ratio transformer should do the job.

To make the connection you might want to add a mercury switch (in series with the battery) to the doorknob. Position will be critical. Connection has to make and break before hand leaves knob.

I'm thinking two VERY small gauge wires (to not be noticed) on the non conductive doorknob might transfer the energy.

 

Discharging more than 1 joule into a person may be fatal.
Energy in a cap = 1/2 C V^2?

 

One wire is connected to the door knob.
The other wire is connected to ground.
A person touches the door knob and nothing happens. The person does not have bare feet and the floor is not flooded with salt water?

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Disposable camera with flash £2.99

Carefully open camera with insulated screwdriver, find the cap on the board (without touching the board), short out the cap with said screwdriver (hold the insulated bit) this will cause a big spark, and possibly eat into your screwdriver. once thats done, cut off the cap with wire snips. remove battery, cut off the bulb too, now wire from the bulb to wires on the doorhandle (not shorted out, you may need to be creative with selotape to keep the wire bare to a hand but not shorting through the handle. short out the flash switch on the board and short out the trigger switch on the board.

insert battery, touch door handle (if you cant handle it yourself - dont do it to others)

you will get a zap, uncomfortable but not gonna kill you (although i take no responsibility for anyone building this - use at your own risk)

DO NOT do this with the cap attached as you could kill someone, and you dont need it!

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Here's how to do it right
The Thing from Another World - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

 

and why was my almost perfect solution ignored?
I was hoping this forum might be different...

 

Because this is an electronics forum, and your 'solution' required someone to physically connect and disconnect a battery at exactly the correct moment, and didn't include any electronics at all.

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ok. Did not think a picture was necessary.

http://s1.simpload.com/1101490ccaf4032c4.gif

The mercury switch on a "loose" spring attached to the door will move around when the door is opened.
Removing the battery is not necessary.
A "shop" switch could also be used.
The kind that rings a bell when the door is opened.

If the switch is closed for more than a fraction of a second the battery will be used needlessly and heavily.
Adding an electrolytic capacitor and a resistor will allow one to shock many more people. (yeah?)
I'm guessing at appropriate values for these two components.

http://s1.simpload.com/1102490e8225969dc.gif

Actually, I'm not sure the second circuit will work.
The slower collapsing of the field in the transformer will lower the high voltage, I believe. Perhaps selecting the right capacitor value is important.