-The Bermuda Triangle used to be the Bermuda Square, until Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicked one of the corners off

-James Cameron wanted Chuck Norris to play the Terminator. However, upon reflection, he realized that would have turned his movie into a documentary, so he went with Arnold Schwarzenegger

-There are no races, only countries of people Chuck Norris has beaten to different shades of black and blue

-Scientists have estimated that the energy given off during the Big Bang is roughly equal to 1CNRhK (One Chuck Norris Roundhouse Kick)

-When you’re Chuck Norris, anything + anything is equal to 1. One roundhouse kick to the face

-The show Survivor had the original premise of putting people on an island with Chuck Norris. There were no survivors, and nobody is brave enough to go to the island to retrieve the footage

-When the Boogeyman goes to sleep, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris

-There is no chin behind Chuck Norris’ beard. There is only another fist.

-When Chuck Norris does push-ups, he doesn’t push himself up, he pushes the earth down

-There is no such thing as global warming, Chuck Norris was cold, so he turned the sun up

-The 1-billion-Dollar-Bill has Chuck Norris' face on it. thats why everybody is to afraid to use it.

-When Chuck Norris eats ice cream, he doesn't get brain freeze. The ice cream gets Chuck burn

-Chuck Norris can turn this forum into his personal web page

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"The people who cast the votes don't decide an election, the people who count the votes do."
-Joseph Stalin

 

-When Chuck Norris does push-ups, he doesn’t push himself up, he pushes the earth down

THat is, in fact, semi-true. BUt by no means unique to chuck norris

But chit...chat!

 

Yes I agree that this should be in chit chat, but I did come up with this one that I came up with by myself:

Chuck norris can sneeze with his eyes open.

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MechTronics

World of Warcraft is a disease

 

LOL!
I almost fell off my chair!

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Ron (aka Rube)

 

LOL.........

I think he was the inspiration for ChuckyCheese!

But try to wipe that smile off his face after he kicked

your.....pizza !

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Truthiness Monkeys : Obedience, Ignorance, Fear.

 

Chuck norris eats transformers in car mode and poops them out in robot mode.

Pwned.

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MechTronics

World of Warcraft is a disease

 

When in Russia, you don't go looking for a party to crash, the party comes looking for you.-Yakov Smirnoff

 

LMAO! I almost flooded my house with laughter tears. The funny part, is it's true (was true in Soviet Union).

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"The people who cast the votes don't decide an election, the people who count the votes do."
-Joseph Stalin

 

[Joseph Stalin] Brings new meaning to "party" crashing. Especially when you know "Stalin" eliminated most of the "counter vote" population.

(Meaning those countering his Election)

"Then Smirnoff drank a toast in honor of the dead"

The rest of the population started drinking with him and he sold more Vodka.

__________________
Truthiness Monkeys : Obedience, Ignorance, Fear.

 

In a real-life match, Bruce Lee would flatten Norris as would Jackie Chan or Jet Lee.

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Don't make me reach through this monitor to slap you a good one!

 

Considering Bruce Lee has been dead for decades, I suspect Chuck would have no problem kicking his ass!

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PIC programmer software, and PIC Tutorials at:
http://www.winpicprog.co.uk

 

Chuck would have no problem prying the rifle out of Charleton Heston's cold dead hands.

 

Chuck Norris? Give me a break. He was top in the sixties, These days even a 3rd Dan like me could put him down. Age is a bastard.

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A conclusion, is the point reached when you stop thinking.

 

In Soviet Russia , you don't watch telvision, the television watches you!

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If you aren't afraid of life then you aren't paying close enough attention.

 

You just hope Chuck Norris didn't see this post or you'll be in trouble.
He is old but he still very tough.