Engineer Jokes. - Page 2 - Electronic Circuits Projects Diagrams Free

TheVictim · 26th April 2007, 07:21 AM

Specialists know more and more about less and less until they know everything about nothing.

Ross Craney · 16th August 2009, 08:18 AM

A group of trainee managers were given an exercise to determine the height of the flagpole out the front. As they stood around discussing triganometry & pythagorus & other methods of calculating the height, an engineer walked up & asked what the problem was. After hearing what was required he pulled the flagpole out of the ground, laid it down & measured it with a tape. "9.35 metres " he promptly said and then walked away. "Typical engineer" said the senior manager , "ask for the height and they give you the length."

Mikebits · 16th August 2009, 08:45 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nigel Goodwin

At one time having ANY degree meant something, and would get you a better paid job - now they are so watered down it only helps if you have a degree in a specific related subject.

I am not so sure I agree. Having a degree shows that an individual has some sort of work ethic, is committed and willing to put in some effort. If a person graduates with a Baccalaureate in something, I truly think they are of some value. Getting a degree is no picnic and anyone that obtains one most likely worked hard to get it. Excluding Joe's Online degree program.

Boncuk · 16th August 2009, 09:12 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 3v0

The political types rapidly rise to management. They know how to look good. They spin things to their advantage and rapidly move up, never in one spot long enough for anything to catch up with them.

Yes, I know. It's called the "Wanninger principle" in Germany. Everybody rises until he has reached a level of total incompetence. From then on he rises at double speed being pushed higher and higher. (since nobody can use him.)

colin mac · 16th August 2009, 11:06 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mikebits

I am not so sure I agree. Having a degree shows that an individual has some sort of work ethic, is committed and willing to put in some effort. If a person graduates with a Baccalaureate in something, I truly think they are of some value. Getting a degree is no picnic and anyone that obtains one most likely worked hard to get it. Excluding Joe's Online degree program.

You can get online degrees from real colleges though that are accredited the exact same way. Students watch the lectures online, then physically attend
the college a few days a year to sit the exams with the students that attend everyday.
I was thinking of doing it for a one year add on to the degree I have, because I don't want to leave a job.

Mikebits · 16th August 2009, 12:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by colin mac

You can get online degrees from real colleges though that are accredited the exact same way. Students watch the lectures online, then physically attend
the college a few days a year to sit the exams with the students that attend everyday.
I was thinking of doing it for a one year add on to the degree I have, because I don't want to leave a job.

I was not implying that all online programs are bad by my statement, only that there are some that are not very reputable such as, Joe's Online college.

And I was trying to make a point aside from that issue.

duffy · 17th August 2009, 09:43 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Boncuk

Yes, I know. It's called the "Wanninger principle" in Germany. Everybody rises until he has reached a level of total incompetence. From then on he rises at double speed being pushed higher and higher. (since nobody can use him.)

It's called the "Peter Principle" here in the US. Originally it was a joke, but sometime in the last 30 years it became standard business proceedure.

AtomSoft · 28th September 2009, 10:19 PM

OMG lol TAKE 6 is awesome!!!!

updownleftright · 20th October 2009, 03:16 PM

LOL Very funny!

birdman0_o · 20th October 2009, 03:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ross Craney

A group of trainee managers were given an exercise to determine the height of the flagpole out the front. As they stood around discussing triganometry & pythagorus & other methods of calculating the height, an engineer walked up & asked what the problem was. After hearing what was required he pulled the flagpole out of the ground, laid it down & measured it with a tape. "9.35 metres " he promptly said and then walked away. "Typical engineer" said the senior manager , "ask for the height and they give you the length."

This is my favorite so far LOL

HiTech · 20th October 2009, 08:01 PM

Actually, McDonalds often pioneered the development of fast food service machinery. A good many of the machines in their restaurants were specially developed for them in order to remain #1 and to provide efficiency. So, being employed as an engineer for McDonalds could be a good payoff for some!

Noggin · 27th October 2009, 12:07 PM

Three lawyers and three engineers are traveling by train to a conference. At the station, the three lawyers each buy tickets and watch as the three engineers buy only a single ticket.

“How are three people going to travel on only one ticket?” asks a lawyer.

“Watch and you’ll see,” answers an engineer.

They all board the train. The lawyers take their respective seats but all three engineers cram into a restroom and close the door behind them. Shortly after the train has departed, the conductor comes around collecting tickets. He knocks on the restroom door and says, “Ticket, please.” The door opens just a crack and a single arm emerges with a ticket in hand. The conductor takes it and moves on.

The lawyers see this and agree that it is quite a clever idea so, after the conference, they decide to copy the engineers on the return trip and save some money (recognizing the engineers’ superior intellect).

When they get to the station, they buy a single ticket for the return trip. To their astonishment, the engineers don’t buy a ticket at all.

“How are you going to travel without a ticket?” says one perplexed lawyer.

“Watch and you’ll see,” answers an engineer.

When they board the train the three lawyers cram into a restroom and the three engineers cram into another one nearby.

The train departs.

Shortly afterward, one of the engineers leaves his restroom and walks over to the restroom where the lawyers are hiding. He knocks on the door and says, “Ticket, please.”

Pommie · 27th October 2009, 01:13 PM

Brilliant, always knew that engineers were smarter than lawyers.

Mike.

AtomSoft · 27th October 2009, 07:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Noggin

Three lawyers and three engineers are traveling by train to a conference. At the station, the three lawyers each buy tickets and watch as the three engineers buy only a single ticket.

“How are three people going to travel on only one ticket?” asks a lawyer.

“Watch and you’ll see,” answers an engineer.

They all board the train. The lawyers take their respective seats but all three engineers cram into a restroom and close the door behind them. Shortly after the train has departed, the conductor comes around collecting tickets. He knocks on the restroom door and says, “Ticket, please.” The door opens just a crack and a single arm emerges with a ticket in hand. The conductor takes it and moves on.

The lawyers see this and agree that it is quite a clever idea so, after the conference, they decide to copy the engineers on the return trip and save some money (recognizing the engineers’ superior intellect).

When they get to the station, they buy a single ticket for the return trip. To their astonishment, the engineers don’t buy a ticket at all.

“How are you going to travel without a ticket?” says one perplexed lawyer.

“Watch and you’ll see,” answers an engineer.

When they board the train the three lawyers cram into a restroom and the three engineers cram into another one nearby.

The train departs.

Shortly afterward, one of the engineers leaves his restroom and walks over to the restroom where the lawyers are hiding. He knocks on the door and says, “Ticket, please.”

Lol this is great! It made laugh out loud while reading heh I wasn't even thinking of that heh good one

JimB · 28th October 2009, 02:24 AM

An engineer, a priest and a lawyer go out on a fishing trip in a small boat.
After a short while the engine fails and they are stuck, 100 metres or so from land, and nobody in sight to give them help.
The engineer has a look at the engine and declares that he cannot fix it without spare parts and tools which they dont have on board.
The priest tries praying, hoping for some divine intervention but without success.
So they just sit there for a couple of hours, hoping for rescue. As they wait, a load of sharks gather, circling the stranded boat.
At this point the lawyer gets up and says "I think I can make it to the shore to get help". He stands at the side of the boat ready to step into the shark infested water and all the sharks line up and make a path to the shore for the lawyer to walk across. Off he goes, stepping from the back of one shark to the next until he reaches land.
"Did you see that!" exclaimed the priest, "It was a miracle!"
"No miracle," replied the engineer, "just professional courtesy!"

JimB

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26th April 2007, 07:21 AM	#16
TheVictim	Specialists know more and more about less and less until they know everything about nothing.

16th August 2009, 08:18 AM	#17
Ross Craney	A group of trainee managers were given an exercise to determine the height of the flagpole out the front. As they stood around discussing triganometry & pythagorus & other methods of calculating the height, an engineer walked up & asked what the problem was. After hearing what was required he pulled the flagpole out of the ground, laid it down & measured it with a tape. "9.35 metres " he promptly said and then walked away. "Typical engineer" said the senior manager , "ask for the height and they give you the length."

28th September 2009, 10:19 PM	#23
AtomSoft	OMG lol TAKE 6 is awesome!!!! __________________ AtomSofts eBay Store AtomSoftTech: C18 TIPS & TRICKS v9 PDF Nokia 6100 Driver/Software My Name: Jason Lopez http://atomsofttech.info/ \| My YouTube Videos! My Favorite Store: dipmicro Electronics

20th October 2009, 03:16 PM	#24
updownleftright	LOL Very funny!

20th October 2009, 08:01 PM	#26
HiTech	Actually, McDonalds often pioneered the development of fast food service machinery. A good many of the machines in their restaurants were specially developed for them in order to remain #1 and to provide efficiency. So, being employed as an engineer for McDonalds could be a good payoff for some! __________________ Don't make me reach through this monitor to slap you a good one!

27th October 2009, 12:07 PM	#27
Noggin	Three lawyers and three engineers are traveling by train to a conference. At the station, the three lawyers each buy tickets and watch as the three engineers buy only a single ticket. “How are three people going to travel on only one ticket?” asks a lawyer. “Watch and you’ll see,” answers an engineer. They all board the train. The lawyers take their respective seats but all three engineers cram into a restroom and close the door behind them. Shortly after the train has departed, the conductor comes around collecting tickets. He knocks on the restroom door and says, “Ticket, please.” The door opens just a crack and a single arm emerges with a ticket in hand. The conductor takes it and moves on. The lawyers see this and agree that it is quite a clever idea so, after the conference, they decide to copy the engineers on the return trip and save some money (recognizing the engineers’ superior intellect). When they get to the station, they buy a single ticket for the return trip. To their astonishment, the engineers don’t buy a ticket at all. “How are you going to travel without a ticket?” says one perplexed lawyer. “Watch and you’ll see,” answers an engineer. When they board the train the three lawyers cram into a restroom and the three engineers cram into another one nearby. The train departs. Shortly afterward, one of the engineers leaves his restroom and walks over to the restroom where the lawyers are hiding. He knocks on the door and says, “Ticket, please.” __________________ A rectangular bear is just a polar bear after a coordinate transform. -- I dunno who. A recent study shows that research causes cancer in rats. -- I dunno who said that one either.

27th October 2009, 01:13 PM	#28
Pommie	Brilliant, always knew that engineers were smarter than lawyers. Mike.

28th October 2009, 02:24 AM	#30
JimB	An engineer, a priest and a lawyer go out on a fishing trip in a small boat. After a short while the engine fails and they are stuck, 100 metres or so from land, and nobody in sight to give them help. The engineer has a look at the engine and declares that he cannot fix it without spare parts and tools which they dont have on board. The priest tries praying, hoping for some divine intervention but without success. So they just sit there for a couple of hours, hoping for rescue. As they wait, a load of sharks gather, circling the stranded boat. At this point the lawyer gets up and says "I think I can make it to the shore to get help". He stands at the side of the boat ready to step into the shark infested water and all the sharks line up and make a path to the shore for the lawyer to walk across. Off he goes, stepping from the back of one shark to the next until he reaches land. "Did you see that!" exclaimed the priest, "It was a miracle!" "No miracle," replied the engineer, "just professional courtesy!" JimB __________________ Experience is directly proportional to the value of the equipment ruined.